Comparison is the Thief of Joy
I've hit a major realization in the past two days. Something I have always heard but never applied to myself. For some reason taking swings at my self-esteem is one of my most favorite things to do. But, I've come to the decision that it must end NOW. I am days away from turning 25 and I still think to myself; I will never be as good as her, and what will he think of me if, it HAS to stop! It just has to end! This cannot be, and is not, the purpose of life. My purpose is not to become like, (enter beautiful girl's name here). My purpose is to become like God, who might I add, is ten thousand-million times better than, (put previous name here). I'm not meant to be the same as anyone else. I am not meant to measure my happiness with the yard stick that another fallible human being holds up. That is not my purpose.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I realized that today as I stalked an Instagram account wondering if measured up. You know what? I don't. I don't measure up because I am not even close to the same as that person. Think for a minute about this, do you share your body with someone else? No? I didn't think so. And just like you don't share your body with someone else, you don't share your spirit with anyone either. You are YOU, individual and separate from everyone. Why would you even consider for one moment that you need to be just like someone else?
The world is an amazing place. Seeing the wonderful travels, experiences, and lives of other people is a beautiful thing. The thing that isn't beautiful however, is envy and covetness. The moment we start to want what isn't ours is the moment that joy leaves us. That doesn't mean you can't dream for a better existence. You can dream all you want! You just have to be careful.
Which brings me to another realization, you have to care more about what God thinks of you than what other people think of you. Even if other people have good intentions about their opinions on your life, you can't base your happiness on theirs. Your happiness, your dreams, your motivations need to lie solely between you and God. I would say I spend 80% of my time trying to make other people happy. I want them to be happy with who I am, I want them to feel comfortable with me, and like to be around me. I genuinely desire other people's happiness. But at what cost?
Earlier this year I found myself in a rut with friends. I wanted to please other people so much that I would lower my standards to be around them. I would give in and give up to things, hoping that it would make them happy. Then, I realized that it wasn't helping me progress at all. I was stuck. So I stopped hanging out with people, I stayed home. Because I didn't want to be happily unhappy, I wanted to find lasting happiness. We should never lower our standards to make someone else happy. (On a side note- distancing yourself from friends and relationships is very hard and sometimes a hurtful thing, I don't necessarily recommend it.)
As I've gone through the past few months I've realized more and more that the only opinion that matters, is God's. To those who may not believe in God, that may seem crazy. But for me, it has saved me. It has put me in a position where I can see the beauty within myself. Not always, but sometimes. I can begin to understand how great of a soul I have, and as I come to understand that, I will be more confident and happy. I will be happy because I AM HAPPY not just because someone else is. And in turn, that happiness can be shared with others.
When you first let go of the comparing thoughts, you might feel lost. You might feel that you are living far below your potential. It can be scary letting go of comparison, because it seems so normal to us. But, it isn't normal- it isn't right. Our Savior never compared himself to others, and why do you think that is? Because he wasn't like anyone else. We may not be the Savior of mankind, but he does make it very clear that we are special, each and every one of us. "Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." (Doctrine & Covenants 18:10) We are meant to be happy, to be confident, and good. And I believe that we can accomplish that through refocusing our priorities to the most important things in our lives. First and foremost being God our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. I testify of that truth and know it to be a source of everlasting happiness.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I realized that today as I stalked an Instagram account wondering if measured up. You know what? I don't. I don't measure up because I am not even close to the same as that person. Think for a minute about this, do you share your body with someone else? No? I didn't think so. And just like you don't share your body with someone else, you don't share your spirit with anyone either. You are YOU, individual and separate from everyone. Why would you even consider for one moment that you need to be just like someone else?
The world is an amazing place. Seeing the wonderful travels, experiences, and lives of other people is a beautiful thing. The thing that isn't beautiful however, is envy and covetness. The moment we start to want what isn't ours is the moment that joy leaves us. That doesn't mean you can't dream for a better existence. You can dream all you want! You just have to be careful.
Earlier this year I found myself in a rut with friends. I wanted to please other people so much that I would lower my standards to be around them. I would give in and give up to things, hoping that it would make them happy. Then, I realized that it wasn't helping me progress at all. I was stuck. So I stopped hanging out with people, I stayed home. Because I didn't want to be happily unhappy, I wanted to find lasting happiness. We should never lower our standards to make someone else happy. (On a side note- distancing yourself from friends and relationships is very hard and sometimes a hurtful thing, I don't necessarily recommend it.)
As I've gone through the past few months I've realized more and more that the only opinion that matters, is God's. To those who may not believe in God, that may seem crazy. But for me, it has saved me. It has put me in a position where I can see the beauty within myself. Not always, but sometimes. I can begin to understand how great of a soul I have, and as I come to understand that, I will be more confident and happy. I will be happy because I AM HAPPY not just because someone else is. And in turn, that happiness can be shared with others.
When you first let go of the comparing thoughts, you might feel lost. You might feel that you are living far below your potential. It can be scary letting go of comparison, because it seems so normal to us. But, it isn't normal- it isn't right. Our Savior never compared himself to others, and why do you think that is? Because he wasn't like anyone else. We may not be the Savior of mankind, but he does make it very clear that we are special, each and every one of us. "Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." (Doctrine & Covenants 18:10) We are meant to be happy, to be confident, and good. And I believe that we can accomplish that through refocusing our priorities to the most important things in our lives. First and foremost being God our Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. I testify of that truth and know it to be a source of everlasting happiness.
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