Life! Ugh!
I should really be studying for school right now, but instead I am writing a blog post. Blogging has been on my mind lately, along with a lot of other things. I take in a lot of information through reading news articles, listening to podcasts, and watching youtube videos. Sometimes when I get too much information in my brain I start to think that I'm not being very productive if I don't put it out into the world again. I was listening to this podcast called Girls Gone WOD and they were talking about setting goals and how life isn't all Snow White floating through the woods, it's hard work sometimes. Another podcast I listen to is called Young House Love, they talked about having a purpose and loving your purpose. All of this made me think of how my life is currently....
I work full time at an insurance agency, I am just one step away from getting my notary, and I am going to school pretty much full time online. I wake up almost every morning and go to Crossfit to work out. My calling at church is over the Young Women so we try to have an activity at least every other week. I don't date. I try to find time to be with friends, but since the semester started I haven't been able to. I try to eat as well as I can, but I firmly believe that I have a bad relationship with food and I don't know how to fix it. Health insurance costs almost as much as my car payment, and saving money to buy a house is getting more and more difficult each day. Basically, life is cray.
Some nights I lay down and think, what the heck just happened? Because it all went by so fast. It is more difficult than I would have ever imagined to be an adult. Partly because I feel stuck where I am, and also because I feel like things are moving too quickly. How did I get so many bills? What if I die? How do you make good friends? Why are taxes taking a quarter of my paycheck? School is expensive, life is expensive. Please stop telling me Crossfit is bad for me, I'm a grown up and I make my own decisions. Mom, will you make my decisions for me?
I'm rambling on now. What I came here to say is that, I don't know what I want. I don't know if I will ever really know what I want. I don't understand my purpose, I don't have a clear one set out for me. Life is so chock-full of STUFF that I'm not sure what to pursue. It's like I'm one of those people in a circus that rides a unicycle and balances plates on sticks while riding it. Everything is up in the air and spinning around but I'm just waiting for it to all come crashing down. It probably will sooner rather than later since I'm spending my time rambling on a blog instead of studying.
I don't know what I'm good at, or what I like to do. Unless you count eating ice cream and watching Gilmore Girls. Life is just... it just is. And I am trying to figure it out. I guess this is just my welcome to my mid-twenties. Like it or not, I'm here.
I work full time at an insurance agency, I am just one step away from getting my notary, and I am going to school pretty much full time online. I wake up almost every morning and go to Crossfit to work out. My calling at church is over the Young Women so we try to have an activity at least every other week. I don't date. I try to find time to be with friends, but since the semester started I haven't been able to. I try to eat as well as I can, but I firmly believe that I have a bad relationship with food and I don't know how to fix it. Health insurance costs almost as much as my car payment, and saving money to buy a house is getting more and more difficult each day. Basically, life is cray.
Some nights I lay down and think, what the heck just happened? Because it all went by so fast. It is more difficult than I would have ever imagined to be an adult. Partly because I feel stuck where I am, and also because I feel like things are moving too quickly. How did I get so many bills? What if I die? How do you make good friends? Why are taxes taking a quarter of my paycheck? School is expensive, life is expensive. Please stop telling me Crossfit is bad for me, I'm a grown up and I make my own decisions. Mom, will you make my decisions for me?
I'm rambling on now. What I came here to say is that, I don't know what I want. I don't know if I will ever really know what I want. I don't understand my purpose, I don't have a clear one set out for me. Life is so chock-full of STUFF that I'm not sure what to pursue. It's like I'm one of those people in a circus that rides a unicycle and balances plates on sticks while riding it. Everything is up in the air and spinning around but I'm just waiting for it to all come crashing down. It probably will sooner rather than later since I'm spending my time rambling on a blog instead of studying.
I don't know what I'm good at, or what I like to do. Unless you count eating ice cream and watching Gilmore Girls. Life is just... it just is. And I am trying to figure it out. I guess this is just my welcome to my mid-twenties. Like it or not, I'm here.
Comments
Post a Comment