Our Own Battles

The hardest part about living, is living well. Well can mean so many different things. Some days well means to wake up, and get to work. Other days well means to exercise, eat right, work hard, study, meditate, and accomplish tasks. The difference between the two is staggering. What is even more outstanding is that for every person, every individual human, there is a different definition. 

We try so hard to articulate our opinions or to open up our souls to new things, and a lot of times it is just never fully formed. Nothing really comes of our ideas, or our desires, and we start to feel stuck. We feel stuck looking for our well. Stuck looking for satisfaction in places where we are almost sure not to find it. The struggle, the fight, it is real. It knocks on our door every day and we have to decide if we are going to open up and let it in, or are going to rush back from the half-opened curtains we just peeked out of and hide under the couch. 

What can make it even more difficult is the whole time we have people checking in on us; How's your fight going? Have you overcome this? Did you use the technique I told you about? You really should keep your hands up.Then someone who isn't so interested in you winning tells you; You suck. You're a horrible fighter. You should just quit. Remember last week when you stayed at home all day?? You should keep doing that.

You know what?!? Whatever. That's what I have to say about that. Whatever. You don't know me and I don't know you. Even if you do know me, I still say whatever. Because I'm sitting here, WE are sitting here, each of us individually, and we are trying to work it out. 

My battle will look completely different from yours and that is ok. That is the point actually. The point is for us to grow and learn and progress and not give a damn about how that compares to anyone else. It is ok to help, to love, to feel. But it is not ok to say, do this my way or pay the price, because it is not a one way street. It just isn't. Life isn't one thing. It is everything. It is messy. We have to expand further than we thought we could. Sometimes we have to open the door and fight fifty different fights right in a row, just to make it through the day. Then when it is over we call a friend to tell them about it, hoping for some sort of feedback and ask them, was it this hard for you? And the friend replies, never. I don't know what you're talking about, but man, I love you for it. I love you for fighting those battles and doing the hard things. I love you for getting out of your house and walking further down the path than you've ever been. Because for them, it was different.

Now this is not meant to say that everything is a battle, not every day is a war. Which brings me back to my first point, living well means something different to everyone. You can't judge someone by the battles they have won or lost, because it just is not the same. It just isn't. We have to find our own version of living well, and sometimes it comes easy and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes after years of searching we will bump into our well, or even wake up and realize it was right along side us the whole time. In the mean time, we have to give each other some slack, it isn't our job to critic anyone else's life, it is our job to live our owns lives and make the best out of what we have.