The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
So I was flipping through Instagram, because, who doesn't? And I saw this picture my friend Aubrey posted of a super beautiful Christmas tree she had decorated two years ago. The caption read, "#tbt to when I bought this tree two years ago and put it up before Thanksgiving. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss a lot of aspects of that time, especially sharing the holidays with someone.. But I'm realizing that it's okay to hold onto the happy memories." She then wrote an AMAZING blog post to accompany that which you can find, HERE.
Anyways, I didn't just want to steal her words, I also had something to say concerning this. Lately I've gotten a lot of advice. Advice on how to live the single life, how to live in general, and what I should and shouldn't be worried about. It is a massive storm in my head and it's driving me insane. I think what I feel is dangerously dramatic and I don't want to sound dramatic, or pathetic. I just want to feel what I feel and move on with it. That's the problem with putting yourself out there. The bottom line is; I have feelings! And unlike 90% of the population, I don't enjoy sitting on them.
The reason it is so difficult sometimes to look back on the past is because it's ugly. It can be ugly because it was horrible, or it can be ugly because it was so damn beautiful. Does that make sense? Like in the movies when someone ugly-cries over the best things that happen to them. It is like that. It hurts you to the very core. Maybe it's a happy hurt, maybe it's a sad hurt. But nonetheless it's a pain that can either paralyze you or give you the motivation to keep going.
I just wanted to agree with her when she said, it's okay to hold onto the happy memories. Often times the happiest moments you have can turn into the moments that are tinged with guilt and sorrow. Yet, that is how we grow. We grow from the stuff that hurts us (or at least we should). And personally, I've been feeling a lot of hurt lately. Time hop is an evil, evil app. I should delete it. But, I feel like looking back on the past isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes we forget what we've done. (Isn't that funny how that happens? Because in the moment we usually say, "I will never be able to get over this." Then BAM one day we forget it all together.) Like I said before, I don't like to sit on my feelings. So this post is just to say, reminiscing is the PITS but also the best ever. Hopefully the happy memories come more often than the sad ones.
The End.
Anyways, I didn't just want to steal her words, I also had something to say concerning this. Lately I've gotten a lot of advice. Advice on how to live the single life, how to live in general, and what I should and shouldn't be worried about. It is a massive storm in my head and it's driving me insane. I think what I feel is dangerously dramatic and I don't want to sound dramatic, or pathetic. I just want to feel what I feel and move on with it. That's the problem with putting yourself out there. The bottom line is; I have feelings! And unlike 90% of the population, I don't enjoy sitting on them.
The reason it is so difficult sometimes to look back on the past is because it's ugly. It can be ugly because it was horrible, or it can be ugly because it was so damn beautiful. Does that make sense? Like in the movies when someone ugly-cries over the best things that happen to them. It is like that. It hurts you to the very core. Maybe it's a happy hurt, maybe it's a sad hurt. But nonetheless it's a pain that can either paralyze you or give you the motivation to keep going.
I just wanted to agree with her when she said, it's okay to hold onto the happy memories. Often times the happiest moments you have can turn into the moments that are tinged with guilt and sorrow. Yet, that is how we grow. We grow from the stuff that hurts us (or at least we should). And personally, I've been feeling a lot of hurt lately. Time hop is an evil, evil app. I should delete it. But, I feel like looking back on the past isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes we forget what we've done. (Isn't that funny how that happens? Because in the moment we usually say, "I will never be able to get over this." Then BAM one day we forget it all together.) Like I said before, I don't like to sit on my feelings. So this post is just to say, reminiscing is the PITS but also the best ever. Hopefully the happy memories come more often than the sad ones.
The End.
Thanks for the shoutout! I've sat on that post for two days because I didn't want to sound exactly like you put...dramatic or pathetic. But my good friend reminded me, "write it out. If you don't include the crappy parts it's not honest writing". I'm so glad you liked my post and that it made sense to you - because to admit in a post that I'm missing my ex husband and my life was TERRIFYING. Oh and Timehop...It's the bane of my existence too but it's also quite lovely, to remember how happy I was and realize that I can be that happy again. Or to see posts about how hurt I was and realize I don't feel that way anymore. Mixed bag of emotions, that app.
ReplyDeleteBut everyone can take their opinions and shove it as far as what to do with your memories. They are your stories, yours to miss or forget. Yours to cherish or throw away. Anyone who says differently obviously doesn't have to live your life. YOU are rocking this life thang, Shelby. I honestly look up to your strength and self-awareness.