The Dating Academy
Sunday, blessed Sunday. Fast Sunday too. It was a good day. The weekends my parents are gone, I kind of let things go. The dishes, the cleaning, the organizing. I sleep with clean/dirty clothes all over my bed, I don't put the sick dog in her room. Basically, I'm a rebel without a cause. If I were to live on my own, my home would be a disaster 90% of the time, the 10% it wasn't would be the time when I was frustrated or dealing with something mentally. Because I only like to clean when I am frustrated. I hope that will change with time, but who knows. Anyways, it was fast Sunday. Fast Sunday means that you don't eat for two consecutive meals (or 24 hours). I always go the two consecutive meals route, I really like food. Last week at church our relief society president approached us and asked us to fast for something that we wouldn't normally fast for, dating experiences. I was skeptical at first, but decided to give it a go today.
The premise behind the whole fast was to help us have more dating opportunities and to help us know what to do about dating. You see, a good 80% of our ward isn't dating. Which is a huge chunk when it comes to singles wards. I'm most definitely in the 80%. A few months ago we got a new Bishopric (church leaders over a certain congregation, who receive revelation on how to teach and guide their specific congregation of members... all under accordance with basic commandments and such). When we got our new bishopric their focus was not dating. Their focus shifted from playing matchmaker, to building stronger testimonies of the gospel. I sincerely believe that it has been helping. Although, I do have to admit, I miss the dating talks. For however much LDS singles say "all we hear about is dating" I feel like we don't hear about it enough. We hear about marriage, yes, but dating?? No.
So they introduced something called, The Dating Academy. Basically what it is, is a 10 minute discussion with the entire ward between Sacrament and Sunday School. We talk about dating and what we think about it. We get homework, we have to answer some basic questions and be prepared for the next week to discuss them. It all seems pretty harmless to me. I think that it will raise interest in some people, and make others shy away from it all together. When you talk about dating and marriage to a singles crowd, there really is no winning. Mostly because every situation is different. I thought it was interesting that we as a relief society had decided to fast about dating, then this new program was introduced. Maybe it was a sign from God telling us that this is what we needed to do.
Honestly, I don't like dating. I've never just went on dates with someone. I've always been in a relationship with someone and dating them. I've never just dated. Hanging out, yes. Dating no. There is a huge difference between the two. Well, at least there should be. I once went out with a guy then afterwards had to ask myself if it was a date or not. I mean, he paid, but he never actually said if it was or not. I could assume, but you know what they say about assuming. If there is one pet peeve I have about boys it's that they are more indirect than girls are. You never know where you stand, or what is going on with them. Am I your girlfriend? Was this a date? You mentioned another girl and past relationships, was I just friend zoned? You introduced me to your parents, is this serious? If I come over and watch TV does that mean we are going steady?
So many questions, so few answers. I guess it leaves out that element of mystique that so many guys like to have. But really, it's totally not sexy or mysterious to not know where you stand with someone. Girls do it, guys do it, and I really just think it's time we stopped playing games.
The premise behind the whole fast was to help us have more dating opportunities and to help us know what to do about dating. You see, a good 80% of our ward isn't dating. Which is a huge chunk when it comes to singles wards. I'm most definitely in the 80%. A few months ago we got a new Bishopric (church leaders over a certain congregation, who receive revelation on how to teach and guide their specific congregation of members... all under accordance with basic commandments and such). When we got our new bishopric their focus was not dating. Their focus shifted from playing matchmaker, to building stronger testimonies of the gospel. I sincerely believe that it has been helping. Although, I do have to admit, I miss the dating talks. For however much LDS singles say "all we hear about is dating" I feel like we don't hear about it enough. We hear about marriage, yes, but dating?? No.
So they introduced something called, The Dating Academy. Basically what it is, is a 10 minute discussion with the entire ward between Sacrament and Sunday School. We talk about dating and what we think about it. We get homework, we have to answer some basic questions and be prepared for the next week to discuss them. It all seems pretty harmless to me. I think that it will raise interest in some people, and make others shy away from it all together. When you talk about dating and marriage to a singles crowd, there really is no winning. Mostly because every situation is different. I thought it was interesting that we as a relief society had decided to fast about dating, then this new program was introduced. Maybe it was a sign from God telling us that this is what we needed to do.
Honestly, I don't like dating. I've never just went on dates with someone. I've always been in a relationship with someone and dating them. I've never just dated. Hanging out, yes. Dating no. There is a huge difference between the two. Well, at least there should be. I once went out with a guy then afterwards had to ask myself if it was a date or not. I mean, he paid, but he never actually said if it was or not. I could assume, but you know what they say about assuming. If there is one pet peeve I have about boys it's that they are more indirect than girls are. You never know where you stand, or what is going on with them. Am I your girlfriend? Was this a date? You mentioned another girl and past relationships, was I just friend zoned? You introduced me to your parents, is this serious? If I come over and watch TV does that mean we are going steady?
So many questions, so few answers. I guess it leaves out that element of mystique that so many guys like to have. But really, it's totally not sexy or mysterious to not know where you stand with someone. Girls do it, guys do it, and I really just think it's time we stopped playing games.
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