Consistency
I'm not good at consistency. I never have been. I can keep the act up for a good two or three months and then I think to myself, "screw this." Literally, screw everything. I don't care and don't want it near me. No, I don't care if eating healthy will make me pretty. I could give a flying fart if running will make me grow wings, I will stay right here on the ground, thank you very much. And if you think for ONE SECOND that your ability to play any song on the piano has me jealous, you better check yourself. Because this girl, doesn't care. NOPE not one bit.
Okay. I'm lying. I care. I care so much! This is all a scam, I'm a liar and a cheater and lazy son of a gun. I don't even care anymore and I don't know why. Three years ago I ran a half marathon. It took me three months to train for it, and BOY was I devoted. It all began in the car with a couple of my girlfriends. After listening to a long-winded rant about the ability to run without stopping for an entire six miles, and how icing in the pool was better than icing in the bathtub my one friend had it. She snapped. "No one cares if you are going to run a half marathon, stop talking about it, you are just going to give up running when you're done anyways."
Wow. I'm an open book.
Heart on my sleeve, anger in my chest, and entirely too offended by her comment, I decided that even more than ever I was going to run. The last three weeks of my training were the best weeks of training I had the entire few months. I made that 11 minute mile my bitch, and I had the shin splints to prove it! Never again, I told myself, never again are you going to have someone think you can't do something.
I ran the 13.1 miles in two hours and thirty minutes. Then, I never ran again.
What is wrong with me? What is wrong with this picture? Why on earth am I here doing all this crazy stuff and trying to become better if I can't do it consistently? What is the point??
In all honesty, I'm not really sure. I couldn't tell you why. Well, I could tell you. I could list a bunch of primary answers about being a child of God or wanting to live with God again. I could do that. But I'm not going to. Because, well, that's not the problem. I know those things, I KNOW THOSE THINGS. What I don't know, is how I'm going to actually do it, but I am sure as hell going to try.
Okay. I'm lying. I care. I care so much! This is all a scam, I'm a liar and a cheater and lazy son of a gun. I don't even care anymore and I don't know why. Three years ago I ran a half marathon. It took me three months to train for it, and BOY was I devoted. It all began in the car with a couple of my girlfriends. After listening to a long-winded rant about the ability to run without stopping for an entire six miles, and how icing in the pool was better than icing in the bathtub my one friend had it. She snapped. "No one cares if you are going to run a half marathon, stop talking about it, you are just going to give up running when you're done anyways."
Wow. I'm an open book.
Heart on my sleeve, anger in my chest, and entirely too offended by her comment, I decided that even more than ever I was going to run. The last three weeks of my training were the best weeks of training I had the entire few months. I made that 11 minute mile my bitch, and I had the shin splints to prove it! Never again, I told myself, never again are you going to have someone think you can't do something.
I ran the 13.1 miles in two hours and thirty minutes. Then, I never ran again.
What is wrong with me? What is wrong with this picture? Why on earth am I here doing all this crazy stuff and trying to become better if I can't do it consistently? What is the point??
In all honesty, I'm not really sure. I couldn't tell you why. Well, I could tell you. I could list a bunch of primary answers about being a child of God or wanting to live with God again. I could do that. But I'm not going to. Because, well, that's not the problem. I know those things, I KNOW THOSE THINGS. What I don't know, is how I'm going to actually do it, but I am sure as hell going to try.
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