Not Selfish Enough
There are moments in our lives when we know that something is wrong, something is off and our spirits want to fix it. I walked along edge of the curb and thought to myself, am I waiting? Am I waiting for something more, something bigger? Am I waiting for someone else to be happy enough?
In the quiet moments of the day my brain thinks of what could go wrong and my heart breaks over what hasn't happened yet. Despite my desire to further my strengths, I haven't gotten very far. I hear that it takes time to conquer fear and realize your dreams. I want to be more patient with my heart, it is so fragile and weak sometimes.
On the opposite end of things, my heart must not be very weak if I can charge through this marathon of feelings day after day. I must be pretty strong if I can overcome my thoughts and tell myself to hush. I must be pretty strong if I can stick with something that I'm not sure of.
But there are multiple sides to one story. Aren't there?
Maybe the strength I have, isn't the strength I need. Maybe the weakness I have should be the strength, and maybe I'm too proud to change it. Did you know that pride isn't just you being selfish, sometimes it is you not being selfish enough.
Here comes my pep talk for myself...
You deserve the world. You deserve to be happy even when you are sad. You deserve to open all the doors and windows and let the sun shine in. You deserve to cry to your hearts content and laugh till you can't breathe. You deserve the very best this life has to offer, because you are worth it. You are worth more, more and more and more.
The most.
The best.
The greatest.
The finest.
And in those moments when you feel like you don't deserve it... you deserve it more. You deserve the healing, the grace, the power, and all the light this world has to offer. Don't settle for anything less and don't let your heart think that "maybe later" it will all be ok. Because you don't have time for later. That just makes you less then who you are. You aren't later, you are now and forever.
In the quiet moments of the day my brain thinks of what could go wrong and my heart breaks over what hasn't happened yet. Despite my desire to further my strengths, I haven't gotten very far. I hear that it takes time to conquer fear and realize your dreams. I want to be more patient with my heart, it is so fragile and weak sometimes.
On the opposite end of things, my heart must not be very weak if I can charge through this marathon of feelings day after day. I must be pretty strong if I can overcome my thoughts and tell myself to hush. I must be pretty strong if I can stick with something that I'm not sure of.
But there are multiple sides to one story. Aren't there?
Maybe the strength I have, isn't the strength I need. Maybe the weakness I have should be the strength, and maybe I'm too proud to change it. Did you know that pride isn't just you being selfish, sometimes it is you not being selfish enough.
Here comes my pep talk for myself...
You deserve the world. You deserve to be happy even when you are sad. You deserve to open all the doors and windows and let the sun shine in. You deserve to cry to your hearts content and laugh till you can't breathe. You deserve the very best this life has to offer, because you are worth it. You are worth more, more and more and more.
The most.
The best.
The greatest.
The finest.
And in those moments when you feel like you don't deserve it... you deserve it more. You deserve the healing, the grace, the power, and all the light this world has to offer. Don't settle for anything less and don't let your heart think that "maybe later" it will all be ok. Because you don't have time for later. That just makes you less then who you are. You aren't later, you are now and forever.
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