Work in Progress
Sometimes, the hardest thing for me is to be happy for myself. In the gospel it talks a lot about having charity and loving others. The bible tells us to put God first. We hear it all the time how service to others is more important than almost anything else. Yet, we worry often about our own well being. At least I do. I guess there is the theory that if you forget yourself and go to work, you will find yourself. I believe in that, to a degree.
I'm not an expert in happiness, I am terribly far from it. That's what this is all about. I think we learn the best when we share what we know with others. So here I am sharing with you. Like I said, not an expert, but I think that a lot of the reasons we are happy are because of the choices we make. So why not make good choices for ourselves? I'm a terribly selfish person normally. I will admit it. It doesn't seem too difficult to make decisions for me, but when you throw other people into the mix it gets a lot more difficult. Being in a relationship is hard sometimes. For me it can be difficult to remember that even though you are with someone, they are their own person and you are your own person. You lead different lives, at different paces, and in very different ways. Until one day, you decide to get married, in which case you have to start to intertwine your paths and go the same speed, slowing down or speeding up to match one another. (At least that's how I imagine it.) In any event, my weakness is this; I care too much and worry too often. How do I fix that? I'm not sure, but when I figure out something that works for me, I will definitely let you know.
For now, my goals are becoming more refined. I'm finding that I must learn to be happy with more than one thing. I brought up relationships because whenever I'm in one, it seems to be the only thing I work on. Which leads me to suffocating the other person, and then they leave. THAT is not something I want to happen this time. I really want to work on having multiple burning desires. Multiples sources of peace and comfort and FUN. And that is just what I will do, work on it.
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