Yikes!

I feel like I've been very depressing lately in all my emails, but the weeks just seem to get harder instead of better. This week was one of those weeks again. We had zone conference on Tuesday and it was good, we learned a lot about how we need to be more obedient and have better relationships with the members in our ward. I think it just made me even more stressed because I know I'm trying, but I'm not perfect, and I can't do everything right no matter how hard I try. So I've been struggling with that, and with the fact that my companion and I are SO INCREDIBLY DIFFERENT. For however much I love her, it's just hard for me. So I'm struggling, I don't really have a friend to bounce things off of, and I'm trying to trust the Lord and give it all to him, but I just don't have enough faith. I don't have the faith to just drop my pride and talk to him without boundaries. Well, in an effort to fix all of that, I scheduled an appointment with the therapist. So that is something new. I have an appointment with him on Thursday. Then on Thursday night my jaw started to hurt and I had no idea why. So I woke up on Friday and it wasn't bad in the morning, then by the afternoon.. I had to go home because it hurt so bad. That was at like 5pm. I slept through almost the entire night until the next morning. Then on Saturday we went to Far Rockaway to be in a parade, which was actually really cool. It was a St. Patricks day parade and our entire mission was there and it was so good to see everyone and it was so much fun. But then when we got back, all of our appointments cancelled, I lost one of my brand new earrings, then I was supposed to teach english class. I just broke down and cried for like a half-hour.. then we went home. I got a blessing that night, but I was still upset. I called the nurse. She says my jaw is probably hurting because, I'm either grinding my teeth in my sleep or I am tensing my jaw during the day without knowing it because of stress. I think it's the second one. Because I sleep with my mouth open.. haha gross... but true. Well. My jaw doesn't hurt as bad right now, so I'm doing a little better and I'm going to just relax and take it easy for the next few days until it's Thursday.

Sorry for another lame and depressing email. I'm working on it! I know that I can do this, I just sometimes can't find the strength to keep going. I know Christ is my savior and he will help me, I just have to figure out how to let him. Time will tell! I love you guys so much. Thank you for the letter this week Mom. It came on Saturday night just when I needed it. It helped me so much!

Shelby Lou