Stake Conference Talk

What is respect? Respect is; Christ-like living, selfless service, humble repentance and love for God. Respect is essential to the healing process. Respect is holding the same esteem for others as we do for ourselves. By these definitions that I have given it is clear to see how respect connects to family relationships, and helps to build a stronger, and more loving family. Elder M. Russell Ballard spoke about Respect and the family in this way, “Our family-centered perspective should make Latter-Day Saints strive to be the best parents in the world. It should give us enormous respect for our children, who truly are our spiritual siblings, and it should cause us to devote whatever time is necessary to strengthen our families. Indeed, nothing is more critically connected to happiness- both our own and that of our children- than how well we love and support one another within the family. President Harold B. Lee spoke of the Church as a crucial “scaffolding” that helps build the individual and the family. The Church is the kingdom of God on earth, but in the kingdom of heaven, families will be both the source of our eternal progress and joy and the order of our Heavenly Father. As we are often reminded, we will be released one day from our Church callings; but if we are worthy, we will never be released from our family relationships.”

So, how can we work on being respectful in our family and showing that love, care and empathy for one another? I found a talk by Terrance D. Olson from the October 2001 Ensign title, Cultivating Respect. There are some topics within it I would like to share.

Understanding respect. It  is said that there are two types of respect. One, is being respectful of others by being polite. Sometimes seen as having good manners. The other, is having respect for someone, because of their honorable living. For example, we have deep respect for our beloved prophet, Thomas S. Monson because he is a great example.

Why is it then, that we sometimes act disrespectfully, towards others? Terrance D. Olson said, “While the gospel teaches us to be respectful toward others without qualification, sometimes we may find ourselves falling into rationalizations about being disrespectful based on their behavior. A person who causes a problem is often seen as warranting disrespectful treatment.” Another form of rationalization would be saying that because we have been treated disrespectfully, the other person deserves to be treated the same way.

A good example of how we should treat others is found in the scriptures in Alma chapters 59 through 62. The story of Moroni and Pahaoran. Moroni was in need of Pahorans help and Pahoran seemed to dismiss him, and not give him help. In his frustration, Moroni wrote an epistle to Pahoran telling him how he should be helping and he tells Pahoran in chapter 60 verse 30, “Behold, I wait for assistance from you; and, except ye do administer unto our relief, behold, I come unto you, even in the land of Zarahemla, and smite you with the sword, insomuch that ye can have no more power to impede the progress of this people in the cause of our freedom.” Pretty strong words right? Pahoran on the other hand has been in the middle of a rebellion. He is drowning in a sense, and really could use the help of Moroni and his men. He gets this epistle from Moroni, and instead of acting disrespectfully and being rude to Moroni he says, “And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but I mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart. I, Pahoran, do not seek for power, save only to retain my judgment seat that I may preserve the rights and the liberty of my people. My soul standeth fast in that liberty in the which God hath made us free.” We need to be more like Pahoran and have respect for the people around us, and learn to love and care for them no matter what.

This leads in to some gospel principles that apply to respect, like brotherly love, empathy and care.

It is a true phrase that is often said by mothers to little children, to teach them respect. “Treat others how you would like to be treated.” Terrance D. Olson said, “True respect, then, comes as we develop our ability to love our brothers and sisters as ourselves.” How do we develop that love for others? We have, empathy and we care.

Empathy is crucial in obtaining respect for others. To be sympathetic is to stand up for others, who may not otherwise have someone on their side, and to show mercy. It is also to love others with all your heart, despite their mistakes and shortcomings. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you? In the book of Luke chapter 15 is the story of the prodigal son. There was a man who had a son who took his inheritance and moved away, spending it all on riotous living. He ended up losing all that he had and became a poor beggar, eating with the pigs. One day he realized that he should just go back to his fathers kingdom, and maybe his father would make him a hired servant. As he was approaching the kingdom this happened. In verses 20 through 24, “And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” This story shows how empathy is truly a form of respect. Even though sometimes in family life, and life in general, we make mistakes, that to the world… would cause us to be cast out. We should strive in our families to bring others back again, welcoming them with open arms.

Care. To care for others is to feel compassion for them, and be more Christ-like. Christ healed the sick, the lame and the leprous. In those days it was seen as very unclean to touch anyone with any type of dieses. Christ showed the people his perfect example, by touching them and healing them, making them clean. His care for others showed his genuine respect.

After we understand Respect, what it is, and how we can get it. We need to apply it in our lives. Parents should teach their children to respect others without qualification. Because we are all sons and daughters of God, on the Church’s website there is a section about the Family a Proclamation to the World. Each part of the proclamation is broken up, under respect is the quote, “Could anyone be more deserving of respect than a literal child of God? Each of us – husband and wife, parent and child- has that marvelous heritage and potential. Sometimes we lose sight of each other’s true worth. But as we give respect, our love deepens, potential blossoms, and eternal relationships grow stronger.”

We must cultivate love and respect in our families. It is true, what the proclamation says, “that successful marriages and families are established and maintained on these principles.” Satan does not want us to have forever families. The only thing he wants is for us to be miserable like he is. So keep working on being better. You don’t have to do it all in one day. Respect others, do not rationalize and make up reasons why others should be treated unfairly. We are all brothers and sisters, who love each other, and need to respect one another.