Seven Days
In seven days I will be in the MTC (Missionary Training Center). I will be sitting on my bed at this hour of night, or kneeling on the floor beside it, praying that I won't die. (Figuratively of course)
My plan is to get out all my worry right now, and as soon as I step in line with those missionaries helping me with my bags, and say goodbye to my family at the curb... I will stop the worry, and just work. I will get in the ZONE. I will be the friendliest, most outgoing girl you have ever met, and I will give all of the glory to God. Because without him, this surely would not be possible.
As you can see, I have big dreams. Big hopes for that first day. Mainly because I am so freaked out right now. 8 months ago when I started planning this whole thing, I was cool as a cucumber. Now, I am growing pimples the size of gobstoppers on my face, and I'm pretty sure I have a twitch. With every morsel of advice that I chomp down from a return missionary, I get more and more scared. Would it be rude to ask them all to stop? To just have everyone stop talking about me going on a mission and pretend like it's not happening? Because, I'm having a mad-melt-down right now.
In the deep recess of my heart I know things are going to be fine. My biggest worry isn't even if people will accept what I have to say, it's that my family will be okay. It's not like, I am their soul provider or anything, but I worry so much about them. Even if it seems like I ignore things. I just love them so much. I can't even stand it. BUT ya know, God loves me. He loves me so much, and because I'm going to give my all, and change for good. He is going to help me, and bless my family. I just know it.
I guess, I do worry about learning though. I hate school. But maybe it's because I hated the subjects. I love the gospel. I love learning about the scriptures. What is really going to be hard is learning spanish. HOLY MOLY.
Anyways, I just wanted to freak out for a minute and say that time is speeding up so fast, and I am freaked out, and I am totally fine... all at the same time. But mostly, freaked out.
My plan is to get out all my worry right now, and as soon as I step in line with those missionaries helping me with my bags, and say goodbye to my family at the curb... I will stop the worry, and just work. I will get in the ZONE. I will be the friendliest, most outgoing girl you have ever met, and I will give all of the glory to God. Because without him, this surely would not be possible.
As you can see, I have big dreams. Big hopes for that first day. Mainly because I am so freaked out right now. 8 months ago when I started planning this whole thing, I was cool as a cucumber. Now, I am growing pimples the size of gobstoppers on my face, and I'm pretty sure I have a twitch. With every morsel of advice that I chomp down from a return missionary, I get more and more scared. Would it be rude to ask them all to stop? To just have everyone stop talking about me going on a mission and pretend like it's not happening? Because, I'm having a mad-melt-down right now.
In the deep recess of my heart I know things are going to be fine. My biggest worry isn't even if people will accept what I have to say, it's that my family will be okay. It's not like, I am their soul provider or anything, but I worry so much about them. Even if it seems like I ignore things. I just love them so much. I can't even stand it. BUT ya know, God loves me. He loves me so much, and because I'm going to give my all, and change for good. He is going to help me, and bless my family. I just know it.
I guess, I do worry about learning though. I hate school. But maybe it's because I hated the subjects. I love the gospel. I love learning about the scriptures. What is really going to be hard is learning spanish. HOLY MOLY.
Anyways, I just wanted to freak out for a minute and say that time is speeding up so fast, and I am freaked out, and I am totally fine... all at the same time. But mostly, freaked out.
I am so excited for you Shelby!!! I can't wait to hear about your mission and all the good you will be doing!!!
ReplyDeleteHermana, you are an inspiration. I don't know how long I've been stalking your blog (sorry, I'm a creeper lol) but it seems that every single post is so open, so vulnerable, and so beautifully written. I freaking love it!
ReplyDeleteSomeone once told me that when a missionary is on the field, the Lord KNOWS how truly amazing the sacrifice of that missionary is, but He also knows how deep the sacrifice of the family left at home is. Heavenly Father sees that and will keep you and your family safe, and held tight in His palm. Take the love that you feel for your family and share it with your investigators, and even those in the field that ignore you, and I can promise that you will see success. It will be amazing.
The ones you are teaching already KNOW you. They just have to tap into REMEMBERING how one day long long ago you promised each other to find one another in this world, and to help each other grow in the gospel. I am vibrating with excitement for you. VIBRATING I SAY!!
It will be hard....but it will be so worth it :-) Also, I'm a spanish speaker (my Mom's fam is from Honduras) so I'd love to write to you and help with that, if you'll have me.
Let me know? k. awesome... you will do GREAT!!!!!