The IF Factor
There is a part of me that keeps saying, "You don't have any idea what you are doing." When this part of me starts to speak, I let it ramble. Mainly because, I respect the view point, and understand that I am not completely sure of what I am doing. My life is literally being decided for me. Of course, I have my agency and can back out at any moment. But I have chosen to let the next year and a half of my life be in complete tribute to God. I know it's the right decision, but for some reason, that doesn't make it any easier.
Last night, I recieved a blessing from my very best friend (Who has a new best friend, his fiance, which is okay by me because I'm glad he is finally finding his eternity. Not like I have a choice in the matter. I love Rachel so much and feel like she is one of my very best friends. I'm not sure why I'm saying all of this.). He holds the power to give me a blessing from God. In this blessing, my Heavenly Father reminded me that he loves me. That he is proud of the decisions I have made, and is by my side. I believe every word he said was true. The truth is so evident in this because, he didn't just heap all of my blessings to me. There were conditions. IF I have faith in him, he will help my anxious heart. IF I write down my impressions in my journal, the things I learn will help me in the mission field.
I think that the word IF makes God real. Because there are always conditions to everything. Nothing is really ever free, and if that were true (see that... if) things would be too easily taken for granted. And just think about all the things that we already do take for granted. God trusts me to spread his gospel. I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure why, but he does. He knows that IF he blesses me, I will respond, and IF I respond with humility and grace, he will continue to bless me. IF I don't, then I recieve the consequences of my actions.
Why then, is it so incredibly hard to wait for a call from the Lord? It's hard because I'm human. It's hard because I have not perfected the gift of patience. It is so hard, because I want so bad to have my Heavenly Father speak to me, and I am too stubborn to listen to what he has already been telling me. And that is...
SHELBY. I love you. Be patient. Take no thought for tomorrow, because you need to live right NOW. You need to focus on TODAY, this moment. Spend time with your family, show them your love. Open your heart to others and know that I am your God. Repent. Repent. Repent.
My Heavenly Father loves me, and wether my call comes today, tomorrow or in two weeks. He will still love me, and he will keep telling the same things OVER AND OVER until I listen, because it is THAT important. I urge whoever is reading this to listen to your spirit. Listen to that incredible power with you that helps you choose right from wrong. Listen to God. Hear his voice and follow his commands. If you don't, (again, if) you will find yourself sitting in the soil, wondering why God has deserted you... not realizing the seeds in your pocket, and the promise they bring.
Last night, I recieved a blessing from my very best friend (Who has a new best friend, his fiance, which is okay by me because I'm glad he is finally finding his eternity. Not like I have a choice in the matter. I love Rachel so much and feel like she is one of my very best friends. I'm not sure why I'm saying all of this.). He holds the power to give me a blessing from God. In this blessing, my Heavenly Father reminded me that he loves me. That he is proud of the decisions I have made, and is by my side. I believe every word he said was true. The truth is so evident in this because, he didn't just heap all of my blessings to me. There were conditions. IF I have faith in him, he will help my anxious heart. IF I write down my impressions in my journal, the things I learn will help me in the mission field.
I think that the word IF makes God real. Because there are always conditions to everything. Nothing is really ever free, and if that were true (see that... if) things would be too easily taken for granted. And just think about all the things that we already do take for granted. God trusts me to spread his gospel. I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure why, but he does. He knows that IF he blesses me, I will respond, and IF I respond with humility and grace, he will continue to bless me. IF I don't, then I recieve the consequences of my actions.
Why then, is it so incredibly hard to wait for a call from the Lord? It's hard because I'm human. It's hard because I have not perfected the gift of patience. It is so hard, because I want so bad to have my Heavenly Father speak to me, and I am too stubborn to listen to what he has already been telling me. And that is...
SHELBY. I love you. Be patient. Take no thought for tomorrow, because you need to live right NOW. You need to focus on TODAY, this moment. Spend time with your family, show them your love. Open your heart to others and know that I am your God. Repent. Repent. Repent.
My Heavenly Father loves me, and wether my call comes today, tomorrow or in two weeks. He will still love me, and he will keep telling the same things OVER AND OVER until I listen, because it is THAT important. I urge whoever is reading this to listen to your spirit. Listen to that incredible power with you that helps you choose right from wrong. Listen to God. Hear his voice and follow his commands. If you don't, (again, if) you will find yourself sitting in the soil, wondering why God has deserted you... not realizing the seeds in your pocket, and the promise they bring.
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