Ball and Chain
I know that the rule of thumb is not to pray openly, for men to see. But to go into your closet, and pray in secret. However sometimes, I feel like God just needs a formal letter typed on a macbook, late at night, from my bedroom floor.
Dear Heavenly Father,
It's me, Shelby. First of all I'd like to thank you for your incredible wisdom and love. Without which, I would be eternally lost and fallen. I am so very thankful for your plan for me. I wanted to tell you, that I love you. You are my father and I don't say I love you near as much as I should. Could you please let heavenly Mother know that I love her too. I like to think that I see her work surrounding me daily, in the mountains and the little babies.
I'm having a hard time. Of course you know why, and I don't need to go into detail about it. I have struggled for years with this ball and chain attached to my ankle. Feeling the deep guilt and embarrassment of it's weight. Satan tried to tell me that you would never really forgive me. That you would never let me forget. He is cunning and evil, and needs to be defeated. The ball is gone now, that black iron-cast ball. The chain however, still seems to drag along, attached at my ankle with a heavy metal clasp. Sometimes it's as though the chain is reaching out in the opposite direction of my foot-path, to find another ball. Just when I think I've gotten far enough away, something dark comes creeping in.
I write you this letter to ask for light. Light to push away the darkness that creeps along the sidelines. Light to push away the fog that covers my path and makes it hard for me to see. The light of Christ, the light of his atonement. Show me the truth, and strengthen my testimony. Humble my soul, and lift up my heart to serve. Break this chain that holds my ankles bound, and slows my journey back to you.
For you are all mighty, and you have the power to retrieve me from the darkest places.
I write this letter to you, in the Savior and Master's name. Jesus Christ.
Amen,
Shelby
Dear Heavenly Father,
It's me, Shelby. First of all I'd like to thank you for your incredible wisdom and love. Without which, I would be eternally lost and fallen. I am so very thankful for your plan for me. I wanted to tell you, that I love you. You are my father and I don't say I love you near as much as I should. Could you please let heavenly Mother know that I love her too. I like to think that I see her work surrounding me daily, in the mountains and the little babies.
I'm having a hard time. Of course you know why, and I don't need to go into detail about it. I have struggled for years with this ball and chain attached to my ankle. Feeling the deep guilt and embarrassment of it's weight. Satan tried to tell me that you would never really forgive me. That you would never let me forget. He is cunning and evil, and needs to be defeated. The ball is gone now, that black iron-cast ball. The chain however, still seems to drag along, attached at my ankle with a heavy metal clasp. Sometimes it's as though the chain is reaching out in the opposite direction of my foot-path, to find another ball. Just when I think I've gotten far enough away, something dark comes creeping in.
I write you this letter to ask for light. Light to push away the darkness that creeps along the sidelines. Light to push away the fog that covers my path and makes it hard for me to see. The light of Christ, the light of his atonement. Show me the truth, and strengthen my testimony. Humble my soul, and lift up my heart to serve. Break this chain that holds my ankles bound, and slows my journey back to you.
For you are all mighty, and you have the power to retrieve me from the darkest places.
I write this letter to you, in the Savior and Master's name. Jesus Christ.
Amen,
Shelby
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