When Good is Not Good Enough

I think that most people try very, very hard to stay positive. It is difficult to do, and often times I do not succeed. But when we fail, we try, try again right? All in all last night was rough. I had a breaking point where positive thoughts could no longer enter into my heart or mind. I was having a really tough time turning my thoughts into good things. I believe it is times like those that we need to just stop and be alone with ourselves for a minute. Maybe we can talk ourselves down from that cliff, that fall. Even more important, in times of silence and meditation we have the opportunity to feel a spirit so deep and true, that its presence alone can heal us. We have a very complex spiritual being dwelling within us, that longs for moments of rest and meditation and when we do not give that spirit what it needs, it starts to break down. I can not handle anymore breaking down.

"Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth." - Russell M. Nelson

Although I believe that a moment of meditation and thought is what will help us achieve a more positive attitude, I have serious trouble doing it. The moment my knees it the floor, I feel an urge to stand up and walk away. That is one thing people don't tell you, sometimes it is very difficult to pray, maybe even the most difficult thing you will ever do. When you are alone with God, it can be incredibly scary. It isn't really though, God isn't a monster, or a Warden, He is our Father. Often times, talking to our father and admiting to our downfalls is embarassing and heart-wrenching. Maybe it is that we feel he will be disappointed, angry, or even sad. That is how I feel.

My point here is that, we don't need to be good enough, beautiful enough, or smart enough for anyone besides God and ourselves. I still can't answer for myself the questions that pull me down on a daily basis; "Why won't anyone ask me on dates? Why can't I stop doing this one thing that is holding me back from exceeding? Why can't I pray to my heavenly father more often and in more earnest? What is wrong with my mind that it won't slow down enough?" I have no idea how to answer these questions. I do however, have hope for beautiful things. I hope for the times when I feel the spirit and help others feel it too. I hope for moments when I feel good enough for myself, and it doesn't matter what other people think.

Five things to do when you have negative thoughts:
1. Think about something positive, like a really pretty sunrise or sunset.
2. Listen to good music that makes you happy.
3. Start listing every happy day you have had in your lifetime.
4. Pray, meditate, ask God to shine his light upon you.
5. Make a game plan. Tackle the negative thought and figure out how you are going to make it disappear, and REPLACE it with a positive one. Don't leave the space empty, empty spaces allow the negative things to come back in without reservation.