Part 1 - Who I Am, Who I Ought to Be
Do you ever stop and say to yourself, its not you.. its me?
This is part one to what I hope will be a multi-part series of posts about what my mind and heart are fighting over. Please understand that this is just one of my points of view, and that this isn't my thought in its entirety.
On Sunday I had the opportunity to speak with a few people that I haven't had the chance to in a while. You know how conversations go, Are you in school? What's your major? What are your plans for the summer? Do you have a job? Yada-yada-yada. Most of the time I try and steer clear of these questions because its hard for me to express what I really want to say, or its completely inappropriate. Okay, mainly the second one.
Personally speaking, I am sick of thinking about what I want to BE when I grow up. Isn't it enough to just live, and be creative? Why do I have to have a job to define that? I do not love, one thing enough, besides the gospel, to make it the center of my life. Because, no matter what you say, your job defines a large piece of who you are and without it, who would you be? WHO WOULD YOU BE? Ask yourself that. Take away your job, school, training, who are you?
I am not sure. I am not sure who I am without those things. I am not a student. I am not a cashier. That isn't me, and that I know. What else do I know? I know I am a daughter of God. I know that I can achieve great things in life. I know that I have worth, and that I can be creative. I know that I am a daughter, sister, friend, and blogger. I know those things. However, despite knowing those things I still don't think I have a complete sense of who I am.
I think that maybe, I need to find more of myself. Because what I really want from life is to be happy, have faith in God, and show love.
What I am trying to say is that. School isn't winning. School isn't dominating. I am. I am doing what I WANT to do because its what my heart NEEDS. I can't go on doing something I don't love, and invest so much time and effort into something if I don't know the outcome.
That's selfish and stupid, but that's where I will end this post.
This is part one to what I hope will be a multi-part series of posts about what my mind and heart are fighting over. Please understand that this is just one of my points of view, and that this isn't my thought in its entirety.
On Sunday I had the opportunity to speak with a few people that I haven't had the chance to in a while. You know how conversations go, Are you in school? What's your major? What are your plans for the summer? Do you have a job? Yada-yada-yada. Most of the time I try and steer clear of these questions because its hard for me to express what I really want to say, or its completely inappropriate. Okay, mainly the second one.
Personally speaking, I am sick of thinking about what I want to BE when I grow up. Isn't it enough to just live, and be creative? Why do I have to have a job to define that? I do not love, one thing enough, besides the gospel, to make it the center of my life. Because, no matter what you say, your job defines a large piece of who you are and without it, who would you be? WHO WOULD YOU BE? Ask yourself that. Take away your job, school, training, who are you?
I am not sure. I am not sure who I am without those things. I am not a student. I am not a cashier. That isn't me, and that I know. What else do I know? I know I am a daughter of God. I know that I can achieve great things in life. I know that I have worth, and that I can be creative. I know that I am a daughter, sister, friend, and blogger. I know those things. However, despite knowing those things I still don't think I have a complete sense of who I am.
I think that maybe, I need to find more of myself. Because what I really want from life is to be happy, have faith in God, and show love.
What I am trying to say is that. School isn't winning. School isn't dominating. I am. I am doing what I WANT to do because its what my heart NEEDS. I can't go on doing something I don't love, and invest so much time and effort into something if I don't know the outcome.
That's selfish and stupid, but that's where I will end this post.
SHELBY.
ReplyDeleteWe are soul sisters. I hate conversations with people where it all focuses on your job, school, work. I far prefer conversations about your goals (not about job/school/work. I'm talking bucket lists here), who you are, what inspires you.
I don't base my happiness on my job (at least, I try not to). I don't base my success on the amount of college I've achieved (thank goodness, since it's not much). I try to base my happiness and success on the quality and strength of relationships I have with people.
I have some quotes for you, just because I think you'll like them as much as I do.
http://pinterest.com/pin/5053790/
http://pinterest.com/pin/5414000/
http://pinterest.com/pin/5299934/
Nothing defines you. YOU define you, and you are awesome. Just FYI.
I feel the same. People always ask me what I'm going to, what I'm want to be...my response?
ReplyDeleteI want to be kind, compassionate, giving, loving, THAT'S what I want to be.
It tends to leave people at a loss for words, they just don't know what to say to that haha!