Running : ALL IN YOUR HEAD
It started out as a goal. Nothing more than to just reach it, and make it happen. I mean, running is time consuming and all in your head. It has nothing to do with legs or breathing, or even a really sweet iPod song list. It has nothing to do with that, let me say it again, it is ALL in your head. So when you wake up every morning saying, I do not want to go running today. You my dear, are going to suck at running. It's all in your head.
My head, is really messed up right now. After taking my first test this semester in my history class, I kind of had a breakdown. It reminded me of how much I hate school, and the reason behind why I haven't been back in a long time. On top of that I got a throwback to the past that made me over think everything, and a -defriend on facebook that has me worried. I know, those things shouldn't effect my running, but they do. Want to know why? Because it's ALL IN YOUR HEAD. Throw in the fact that I was sick for 3 days and wala you have a full blown case of procrastination.
I always do this though. I get really stoked about a cool and awesome new hobby, and then at the half-way point (I have 5 weeks until the half marathon) I wuss out. I never go through with anything, and if I do it's half-assed. Which is one of my biggest weakness, or horibble traits, whatever you call it. I have lost all motivation and I hate myself for it.
This is what I want.
I want to be a runner, and a gym rat. I want to travel with my friends and work at a job that I love. I want to have co-workers that don't make me really angry, and I want to have less violent thoughts. I want to be a scholar when it comes to the scriptures and I want people to want to be around me all the time. I want to be the girl that people look at and are not afraid to talk to. I want to be everything I am not.
I searched the web for inspiration today. I found this website; Skinny Runner and felt a little better, and a little bit more happy. I love blogging. It is one of my favorite things to do. The people you can read about, and meet are fantastic. I have met some of my very closest friends through blogging. I love them, so much.
The end.
My head, is really messed up right now. After taking my first test this semester in my history class, I kind of had a breakdown. It reminded me of how much I hate school, and the reason behind why I haven't been back in a long time. On top of that I got a throwback to the past that made me over think everything, and a -defriend on facebook that has me worried. I know, those things shouldn't effect my running, but they do. Want to know why? Because it's ALL IN YOUR HEAD. Throw in the fact that I was sick for 3 days and wala you have a full blown case of procrastination.
I always do this though. I get really stoked about a cool and awesome new hobby, and then at the half-way point (I have 5 weeks until the half marathon) I wuss out. I never go through with anything, and if I do it's half-assed. Which is one of my biggest weakness, or horibble traits, whatever you call it. I have lost all motivation and I hate myself for it.
This is what I want.
I want to be a runner, and a gym rat. I want to travel with my friends and work at a job that I love. I want to have co-workers that don't make me really angry, and I want to have less violent thoughts. I want to be a scholar when it comes to the scriptures and I want people to want to be around me all the time. I want to be the girl that people look at and are not afraid to talk to. I want to be everything I am not.
I searched the web for inspiration today. I found this website; Skinny Runner and felt a little better, and a little bit more happy. I love blogging. It is one of my favorite things to do. The people you can read about, and meet are fantastic. I have met some of my very closest friends through blogging. I love them, so much.
The end.
I love that you wrote this. It is in my head, I believe it. I tell myself over and over that I want to love to run but I hate it. I need to be more positive!
ReplyDeleteYou are stronger than you realize Shelby! You can accomplish your goals; just think about how amazing it will feel once you cross that finish line. It will feel AWESOME! And keep on blogging. I feel like we are alike sometimes; writing keeps us grounded and focus. So keep on doing those things that help you and all those things in your head will turn into things that will make it easier to accomplish your goals!
ReplyDeletemy parents always used the term 'half-asked', so once I used it on an english paper. my teacher laughed at me, although she would probably be mad at my grammatical laziness in this comment.
ReplyDeletealso DON'T GIVE UP! i used to have a dedicated songlist of songs that i pretty much only listened to while running because they had a constant beat and were semi-anger inspired which emotionally would help me run harder. literally still now when i hear them it makes me want to run. i used to run and seriously being sick is the fastest way that life can kill your goals. you just have to punch life in the babymaker and get back out there!