Why yes, I am writing two blog posts a day
This post might be depressing.
I'm just giving you a fair warning.
The thing is, I've got a lot of nothing on my mind. By nothing I mean, a lot of nonsense, things that just don't matter. Things like my credit score, or a dress for the New Year's ball. When I have drastically more important things to be thinking about. For instance, this one issue that stems from my childhood that won't seem to go away. No matter how hard I try to make it disappear, it won't vanish. It breaks my heart everyday. Another thing could be that everyone at my work thinks I'm always upset or angry, because I can't seem to keep a smile on my face. I wouldn't be surprised if this is what being depressed feels like. The weird thing is, that I am fine one minute and the next I just want to drop everything and run away to Paris. Okay, either way I want to run away to Paris, but you know what I'm getting at right?
I believe that the worst thing about this entire situation is that I know how to fix it, but I just won't let myself. I'm the only person in my way. I'm the only thing I'm afraid of.
I can't look anyone in the eye. I constantly get the chills when people stand next to me, annoyingly "waiting" on me. I just want to tell them all to go away and have some freaking patience. On top of all of this, all of this STUFF that just keeps coming back, and pestering me, I might have to work tomorrow night. I had it off, yesterday, then SURPISE tonight my boss tells me. Oh, you have to come in tomorrow. I just want to go hang out at my house with my family. I am grateful for my job, but I really don't want to be here. Not tomorrow. If your wondering if that news is what set this whole thing off, you would be 100% correct.
I look forward to the day when I can buckle down, stop procrastinating, stop messing around, and just make things happen. Right now, my patience is shot. More problems are surfacing, and I can feel the tornado about to hit. It's coming and I am incredibly ill prepared.
What makes you happy when you feel down? What goals do you have in your life? What do you believe is the best way to obtain your goals??
I'm just giving you a fair warning.
The thing is, I've got a lot of nothing on my mind. By nothing I mean, a lot of nonsense, things that just don't matter. Things like my credit score, or a dress for the New Year's ball. When I have drastically more important things to be thinking about. For instance, this one issue that stems from my childhood that won't seem to go away. No matter how hard I try to make it disappear, it won't vanish. It breaks my heart everyday. Another thing could be that everyone at my work thinks I'm always upset or angry, because I can't seem to keep a smile on my face. I wouldn't be surprised if this is what being depressed feels like. The weird thing is, that I am fine one minute and the next I just want to drop everything and run away to Paris. Okay, either way I want to run away to Paris, but you know what I'm getting at right?
I believe that the worst thing about this entire situation is that I know how to fix it, but I just won't let myself. I'm the only person in my way. I'm the only thing I'm afraid of.
I can't look anyone in the eye. I constantly get the chills when people stand next to me, annoyingly "waiting" on me. I just want to tell them all to go away and have some freaking patience. On top of all of this, all of this STUFF that just keeps coming back, and pestering me, I might have to work tomorrow night. I had it off, yesterday, then SURPISE tonight my boss tells me. Oh, you have to come in tomorrow. I just want to go hang out at my house with my family. I am grateful for my job, but I really don't want to be here. Not tomorrow. If your wondering if that news is what set this whole thing off, you would be 100% correct.
I look forward to the day when I can buckle down, stop procrastinating, stop messing around, and just make things happen. Right now, my patience is shot. More problems are surfacing, and I can feel the tornado about to hit. It's coming and I am incredibly ill prepared.
What makes you happy when you feel down? What goals do you have in your life? What do you believe is the best way to obtain your goals??
ok i absolutely love your header! so fun!
ReplyDeletei think hot chocolate is a cure all for depression. at least for me it is. spilling hot chocolate can literally ruin my entire day. crazy huh.
ReplyDelete