My Style

My internet is going really slow today, and it's making me anxious. I'm not exactly sure why, maybe it's because I need to blog in order to keep myself from imploding. I'm not the type of person who keeps quiet during times of decision, obviously. I think it is mainly because when I was dating Frank, I kind of built this shell around me, like he did. Where you stay really quiet, and don't tell anyone about anything. That continued on through the next year, and it became really unhealthy. I think that is why, when people tell me to just keep to myself, and meditate, I want to scream NO! Because I know the dangers of it, i.e., self-loathing, confusion, and loneliness. 

As for today though, I've decided to try my hardest to just not think about everything in such a rushed way. Of course I am still thinking about EVERYTHING. I just, I need to see the big picture in every option. I think I'm going to sit down and write a huge pro and con list. Maybe.

This morning, my Mom asked me if I wanted a Christmas Quilt to put on my bed for the "season". She got one at Walmart that is really cute, so she wanted to know if I would like one. We got on the topic of big floral prints and I told her I wanted to redo my room. I think I have officially left the Zebra stage. Now, I'm no interior designer, but this is what I would like my room to look like. Sort of.

I really like the colors. The big peach color on the bottom right, is actually a rug. I am in LOVE with that chair, and the bedding from Anthro. Not to mention that dresser. FAB-U-LUS. The top swatch of color would be my main walls, with any of the accent colors on the bottom left on one wall. In the background towards the top, are drapes. 

Anyways, as you can see, I am trying to get my mind to work on other things. It isn't a complete success, but I am trying!