Half Way To 700

If you want to know the honest to goodness truth, I feel like I have made a fantastic decision in my life. I feel like I have met more people, this week, then I have in my entire life. Which is an extreme exaggeration, and is not even close to being a fact. I only say that because, I feel like this week, coming home from Provo, and seeing what I have here, I have met more people who I feel will be serious influences in my life. Now, to be fair, I should say that I am sorry, just publicly to "thisboy" for what I did. No one needs to know the details, but I feel you should know that I apologize.

I make amends over my blog frequently, because I feel that the times when I type things out for the world to see... are the times when it is really true. The power of speech is not as big of an influence to me as is the power of writing. It's kind of similar to when in days of old people had to carve their words in stone. Blogging, is me carving my words and opinions into stone. Something I can't take back very easily, in my opinion.

There are a million different things on my mind, but the real thing that has me all caught up is that, I let other people control my emotions. I do this because I feel so much compassion and love towards them, (or the other way around, I am not perfect) so when they have a chance to speak, I feel encompassed by what they feel. It doesn't really matter who decided to burn the bridge, who started it, who finished it. It doesn't even matter. All that matters are the words being yelled from either side of the river bank. Those words fill the air above the water, or the brimstone (whichever you prefer) and linger there. They stay in place like a billboard on the highway, rarely changing. It just sits there, for everyone to see, and for each person to look at in wonder. Thinking, what in the world do they mean by that? Who says those things? Eventually, they grow to hate it or forget about it.

You might be wondering, who am I to say a thing when it was my decision to let things go. It has ALWAYS been my decision. This is not the first time this has happened, and I am pretty positive it is not the last. I let things go on purpose, I burn bridges knowing that, unless I sprout a pair of wings, I won't get back. I KNOW THESE THINGS, but I do it anyway. Because that is how I feel, and I am not going to deny what I feel. Previously I stated that I let other people control my emotions, and when I finally make these decisions to turn away from someone, or something, it's because of my own feelings. No one else is effecting them, and I am making the choice for myself. When I make a decision, I MAKE a decision.

I'm starting to confuse myself.

I am sorry.

I am happy.

I hope you are happy.

Keep being the amazing person you are.

Yes, I mean you.