Small Enough

Do you know those times when you feel like the world is coming to an end and that everything is tragic? It kind of feels like outer-space is coming down on top of the mountains and the peaks of them are crumbling down towards the city. There are people running to no where in particular, but just running, like chicken's with their heads cut off. (Do chickens really run after you cut their heads off?) Do you know the feeling I'm talking about?

I had that feeling today.

Then. The time came when I climbed out of my car, walked up the steep concrete sidewalk of the temple, past the gushing fountains and through the automatic doors. I showed my proof that indeed, I was worthy to enter the Lord's house, and made my way downstairs. There was a moment during this service for my Brothers and Sisters that I looked up across the room, to see a beautiful brown eyed boy and a gorgeous blonde haired girl standing against a doorway. I saw in their smiles, and those around them, the light of Christ. I looked down at my lap, and realized I was smiling too. I couldn't stop. It was spectacular. That crystal clear feeling. It was as if I was gliding effortless across a thick sheet of ice. Feeling the magic from the chilling, smooth, water below rise above my feet and legs into the air above my chest. It lingered there in front of my face showing me it's genius. After the chill ran through me, and I stepped outside to see the sunrise, a sudden warmth washed over me. Like a blanket, or freshly washed sheets. Covering me from head to toe. From shoulders to fingertips. Oh, it was beautiful.

As I drove home late this evening, I turned my radio up loud. I cried at the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, and I hoped for a better tomorrow. A tomorrow without the bitter, and only the sweet. I drove with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand out the sun-roof of my car. I felt the warm summer breeze toss between my fingers and knew at that moment, that there was something more then this. Something more then my hatred for long mornings and afternoons spent alone, for my fears of moving home to a place where past mistakes haunt me. Something more then tears, chocolate, and ice cream. There is something more. He is bigger then men, bigger then anything. GOD. THE GREAT ALMIGHTY KING. He is every where. He is in everything. I screamed the words to this song;

"But tonight, I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky. I just want to know, that you're going to hold me if I start to cry. Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now!"


Then. I got out of my car and walked into my house, knowing that God loves me. Knowing that things will be ok. Especially because he has blessed me with great friends beyond my wildest imagination. People who will always be there. I'm not alone. I am thankful for that.