HONEST TO GOSH
You want honesty?
I will give you honesty.
- For the first time in a long time, I am scared. Scared of what is going to happen. Seriously, sitting in my apartment for days on end doing nothing has me scared out of my mind for going home. Why? Because I have a feeling that I am going to be alone even more then I am now.
- I'm glad I will have my family when I get back to Vegas, but I hope they don't get sick of me. Because I am 99% positive that I will have 0 friends. Basically because every person I can think of hanging out with is friends with someone who talks crap about me, who I am sure is telling them, she is dumb. Maybe I'm a flakey friend, okay, whatever.
- I deserve it.
- Really. Why can't I get out and make stuff happen? I had so many things I wanted to do this summer, but didn't. Because of reasons I can't even remember.
I really feel like crap and I don't understand why. I have tried so hard to become someone I love and in the end, I only get glimpses of that person. I'm glad I get to go to the temple tonight to do baptisms, because really... this is just ridiculous.
I will give you honesty.
- For the first time in a long time, I am scared. Scared of what is going to happen. Seriously, sitting in my apartment for days on end doing nothing has me scared out of my mind for going home. Why? Because I have a feeling that I am going to be alone even more then I am now.
- I'm glad I will have my family when I get back to Vegas, but I hope they don't get sick of me. Because I am 99% positive that I will have 0 friends. Basically because every person I can think of hanging out with is friends with someone who talks crap about me, who I am sure is telling them, she is dumb. Maybe I'm a flakey friend, okay, whatever.
- I deserve it.
- Really. Why can't I get out and make stuff happen? I had so many things I wanted to do this summer, but didn't. Because of reasons I can't even remember.
I really feel like crap and I don't understand why. I have tried so hard to become someone I love and in the end, I only get glimpses of that person. I'm glad I get to go to the temple tonight to do baptisms, because really... this is just ridiculous.
Shelbs....you are awesome! I wish we were closer so we could hang. When friends backstab you.....they aren't friends. Hang in there cutie!!
ReplyDelete..uh hey. This is Shaun I just wanted to give you a list of stuff..here goes.
ReplyDelete1) You are too legit to quit!
2) You know your reasons
3) You are much stronger than you realize!
4) You are much to loveable to hate
5) people are drawn to you because you are a very sweet and kind person!--you can take that to the bank!
6) You are never alone! God will be there for you 100%...and you got me, I can at least talk to you on the phone and stuff!
7) You are at a time in your life when the most challenging issues come up. be strong. Have confidence.
8) Remember you are only 20 years old.
9) Please remember how many people you are leaving that really do care about you! Not alone.. just further away from people
10) You have family! yesir you do!