This Is Who I Am

There is only one person in this world whom you can really be. That person is yourself. You can imitate, impersonate, and copy every action of someone else, but you will NEVER be them. You will NEVER have their circumstances, wealth, poverty, happiness, or sadness. Forget about it. It will not happen. So stop trying to be someone you are not. Be brave, be courageous, be foolish, be wise, be whomever you want to be.

I am the type of person who chooses to be quiet or have a bad day. I decide wether or not I want to wear make up and impress someone, or if I want to just hope and pray that the words I say will please them. I am nerdy, but not to the point where it is all I am. I love to talk about zombies and elves and magical lands with fire breathing dragons and the possibility of a war of trolls and orcs. I love to talk about nothing and everything all at once. I am not starved for attention and usually shy from it. YET, when I am in need of a moment of my own I make you LOOK.

I despise talking about people, but I do it anyways. It is a habit I wish so much to break. I wish everyday for something good to happen. Whenever I stare off into space I am usually dreaming up a different scenario about what if's and if that's. I think of what my relationship would be like with any boy I meet even the ones I'm not interested in. Not a single day has gone by that I have not thought of Frank, his family, or the fact that in a year he will be back and I will still be here. I make up dreams in my head that he will come back and beg to be mine, or ask politely. It's a sick and disgusting habit that I wish so much to break.

I wish I knew more about theater and the arts, but I don't. I wish I could carry on conversations about politics and the news, but I don't. I wish I could tell someone a story and they would listen to it entirely through, but they don't. It takes me forever to tell a story, people get bored, things get confusing and there I am standing alone whispering to myself. I only get bugged with this when I am alone. I can't play video games to save my life, and I hate to swim with a big group of people because I can't go under without plugging my nose.

There are things I wish I did and things I wish I didn't. All in all, I am who I am. I make excuses for my lax behavior and try and accuse others of being lame. I love to see people smile, and I hate to see others in pain. No one in this world is exactly like me. I am not exactly like anyone else. That is what makes us special, honest, faithful, and true. Because no matter how different we all are; it works, for our benefit.