Crash Wallflower
Some young child backed up into my car today and smashed it pretty good. I'm trying really hard not to cry. So hard in fact, that my stomach hurts. I'm fine, my car is not. Which equals that I am not fine emotionally, or financially. Oh well, worse things happen right? Right. So since I am feeling depressed, I will quote a book that makes me feel solemn and just thoughtful.
The book is, The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.
“Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”
“He’s my whole world.”
“Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.”
Then I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.
And in that moment, I swear we were infinite
It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Well, sometimes, I can do that, but I don't need an hour in front of a mirror. It just happens very fast, and things start to slip away. And I just open my eyes, and I see nothing. And then I start to breathe really hard trying to see something, but I can't. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me.
So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them
I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.
Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam sad. Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them.
The book is, The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.
“Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”
“He’s my whole world.”
“Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.”
Then I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.
And in that moment, I swear we were infinite
It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Well, sometimes, I can do that, but I don't need an hour in front of a mirror. It just happens very fast, and things start to slip away. And I just open my eyes, and I see nothing. And then I start to breathe really hard trying to see something, but I can't. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me.
So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them
I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.
Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam sad. Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them.
I'm sorry about your car! But very happy that you are ok, m'dear :)
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