A Letter To Heaven
My Dear Heavenly Father,
Wow. All I can really say is, wow. I'm not quite sure what this lesson you have given me is going to teach me. I feel very strange. Mostly I feel as though I should just stop trying. I'm not normally like that. You know, your sons here on this earth are pretty great. I love them all, because they have this spirit about them that makes them just, reliable. Thank you for putting people in my path that help me through my times of regret and sorrow. Like my friend K.J. he always knows what to say so that I realize that life isn't horrible and dumb. It's you talking to me through him, that I know.
Being myself kind of hurts. Opening up, just to get shut down, really hurts. Yet, I know that you wouldn't hurt me... you wouldn't hold me down. Those are different elements holding me down from becoming who I am. Elements that if weathered correctly, can help me achieve my dreams. I just sometimes wish that I could get through them on my own, so I could show you.. "look Father! I did it on my own!!" so you could be proud of me. BUT the thing with that is, you aren't a proud being. You are a loving and merciful being, who wants me to take all the help I get and use it.
I'm not sure that I am even really upset that this whole "relationship" thing didn't work out. I think I am just upset that I put myself out there completely, and it hurt me. I had no guard up, and I wasn't used to that. Show me how to be myself. Show me how to not be hurt by things that don't work out. Father, I love thee. I love your all encompassing love and faith in me.
I have faith in you. I have faith in love. I know that I will become who I long to be. I know that you will heal this hurt in my chest and help me understand that I am being molded, and shaped, into something beyond my imagination. I will let you fight my fights for me, I will let you preserve me, you are my foundation. Please help me to keep my feet solid on the ground.
Your Loving Daughter,
Shelby Lou
Wow. All I can really say is, wow. I'm not quite sure what this lesson you have given me is going to teach me. I feel very strange. Mostly I feel as though I should just stop trying. I'm not normally like that. You know, your sons here on this earth are pretty great. I love them all, because they have this spirit about them that makes them just, reliable. Thank you for putting people in my path that help me through my times of regret and sorrow. Like my friend K.J. he always knows what to say so that I realize that life isn't horrible and dumb. It's you talking to me through him, that I know.
Being myself kind of hurts. Opening up, just to get shut down, really hurts. Yet, I know that you wouldn't hurt me... you wouldn't hold me down. Those are different elements holding me down from becoming who I am. Elements that if weathered correctly, can help me achieve my dreams. I just sometimes wish that I could get through them on my own, so I could show you.. "look Father! I did it on my own!!" so you could be proud of me. BUT the thing with that is, you aren't a proud being. You are a loving and merciful being, who wants me to take all the help I get and use it.
I'm not sure that I am even really upset that this whole "relationship" thing didn't work out. I think I am just upset that I put myself out there completely, and it hurt me. I had no guard up, and I wasn't used to that. Show me how to be myself. Show me how to not be hurt by things that don't work out. Father, I love thee. I love your all encompassing love and faith in me.
I have faith in you. I have faith in love. I know that I will become who I long to be. I know that you will heal this hurt in my chest and help me understand that I am being molded, and shaped, into something beyond my imagination. I will let you fight my fights for me, I will let you preserve me, you are my foundation. Please help me to keep my feet solid on the ground.
Your Loving Daughter,
Shelby Lou
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