My Letters, Their Replies

Dear Homework,

There is so much of you. I'm not sure what to do with it all... week after week you have me swamped with 80 page readings and endless vocabulary words. I know for a fact that I don't like you, so you sticking around is a real pain in the toosh.

Shelby

CSN Student # 3,004,

Sorry, but because you are an idiot it is our job to make you smarter.

Sincerely,

Homework

Dear BB Parking Spaces,

You SUCK. Have a mentioned that before? Not to mention the drivers in these parts are idiots, but your spots are too small. Oh yeah, and there are like 15 spots outside.. 4 people per apartment... 40 apartments per building... SO DUMB!

Signed,

Irritated

Shelby Lou DeLong,

Thanks for your thoughts in regards to parking. We are sorry to say that we could care less about what you think, we just want your money.

Honest.

BB Apartments

Dear Male Gender,

Why wont you be my friend? Is it the hair? Because I always think it is. Then I realize you just are shallow. That, or you don't know what being friends means.

Why am I writing this again,

Shelby Lou

Sup Kid.

Male Gender.

Dear Job,

Thanks for being there. It means a lot. I will work really hard I promise!!

Love,

Shelby

To Whom It May Concern;

Thanks for joining the workforce, glad to have you back! Good luck out there!

Signed,

Jobs For Struggling College Students

Oatmeal For Breakfast,

I love you.

Shelby

Valued Oatmeal Customer,

Thanks! We Love You too!!

Quaker Oats

My Favorite. Valentines Day,

You are coming up this weekend! Being the LDS girl I am, I will be expecting Valentines Day on Saturday night since real Valentines is on a Sunday. I hope you make this weekend happy for everyone! It is a pretty holiday, and leaving people alone and heartbroken on it, isn't very nice.

Do your best,

Me.

Shelbs,

Thanks for looking out for others, but we can't make any guarantees.

Sorry,

Cupid

P.S. Happy Valentines Day!