Paper Heart

I watched this movie today. It's called Paper-Heart. It's a movie about this girl named Charleyne who doesn't believe in love. It's a documentary, but it's also fiction. A girl who doesn't believe in love, dates a boy (Michael Cera) and learns about love, but never really feels like she had fallen in love. Of course it is just a movie, but they did interviews with real people, with real stories to tell.
They interviewed a divorced man who believed in love, even after having his heart broken in the worst way.
A couple who had been together since they were 14 years old.
An old widowed woman who had the hardest time letting go of her beloved husband.
Newlywed Seniors in High School who had just gotten married.
Kids on a playground.

It was a really good movie. It hurt me a lot inside to see her still unbelieving and see her still not believe that there is a way she could ever love someone. Most of the movie you think it's real, the relationship between her and Michael but it's all acted out, and it's done pretty well. There was one part that I couldn't understand. She was sitting next to Michael on the couch and they told them they were going to go shoot in Paris, and that it would be fun. They didn't understand why Paris, but finally the director said, "Don't you think you could love Michael". Chaylene point blank said "No." I was stunned. They were sitting together next to each other and they were in this blooming relationship and she said NO. I guess, I'm just a loveable person. I tend to love everyone I meet. I mean, not romantically, but in some way.

There was another great part in the movie where this boy, I'd say he was about 9 or 10 was talking about love. He was so right, and so mature, it freaked me out... but then I thought about it.. and it was amazing. He was right! In the extended version you hear him talk more about what he thinks love is but the main thing he said, from a question she asked him was... (The question was, How do you think I can find love if I don't believe in it?) "Just step back and take a look at your life, take a good look. Then, decide from there if the person you are with is worth saying. If you want them there... Just decide for yourself." I died! The kid was a genius.

Have I ever been in love? Indeed I have. One thing that a guy explained on there was that, he believed there was only one "true love" out there for everyone. Of course there were many, loves that he had, had but there was only one "true love" and that sometimes that "true love" doesn't go both ways. I kind of liked how he explained it, but I do sincerely believe that there is not just "one person" for everyone. You might marry someone who is the one for you, but if you hadn't have found them, I think you would have found someone else just as amazing and just as good. Being in love for me, has been difficult. I was in love with someone who didn't exactly love themself as an individual. It's hard to love someone who can't generate enough passion to love themself. It becomes a one sided deal, something that is only happening because one person is making it that way. Some might say I was decieved, and blinded, and that it wasn't really love. They can say what they want. As far as I'm concered, that was love for me, and that was a great love. It wasn't perfect, it had it's difficulties, but there were moments when I was out of the world happy. I learned eventually that love can fade, and that passion and light can dwindle, especially when there isn't teamwork or communication.

I think being 19 and being young, I am naive to some visions of love. I'm not dumb though, I know what will hurt me and what will keep me safe. It's just a matter of finding it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that. I have been in love, but I haven't been in true love. I have been in love, but I haven't found the one. I have been in love, and wanted to spend all my time with that one person, and the world was brighter because of their presence in my life, but it wasn't lasting. Unlike Chaylene, I believe in love. I know I'm capable of it, and I know I will find it one day. It's just a matter of when.