Get That Girl a Mood-Ring

I get in these moods often. The mood where you are wanting what everyone else has. You want their cool phone, their relationship, their awesome song that they dedicate to that said relationship. I want it all, I want to have what they have because they seem so much happier then me. I know it isn't true, I can be incredibly happy right now where I am at. Is it called dreaming? or is it called being greedy and wanting too much? I'm not sure... where is that line? I really don't want to cross it.

I also get in these other types of moods where I just keep my mouth shut. I want to say a lot, I want to volunteer and raise my hand and voice my opinion, but I just can't seem to get the strength to pull my arm up or open my mouth. I have all the words at the tip of my tounge, until I hear someone else and they have said it all. Why did they still those words straight from me? Why is it that when I am in the middle of a conversation with someone I stop and don't say anything? I need to speak but it's like my voice box is breaking and I need to be very careful what comes out because it my be my last words.

I'm not dieing, I'm not on the verge of depression. Honest. ha The other day in sunday school the teacher asked the class who was scared of getting married and for some reason my hand shot straight up and stuck there. I have never really been scared. Yet, at this moment I have never wanted to run this far from it. Even though a relationship would be nice... I would hate for it to be anything huge, or permanent. (I'm shuddering just thinking about it.)

I just want to have fun! I want to go out and play and meet people and live life. I'm going bowling tonight... hopefully.

:D