Pick and Choose

Currently, I am planted on my butt writing this blog on the computer at the candle shop. Remember the days of the candle shop? When I would post about crazy people who would come in and think that it was my candle collection. Yeah, well those days are back and you better be ready soon enough for some stories!

Oh, and by the way, I made it home alive! I knew you were worried, but really you didn't have to be. I am a truck drivers daughter- nuff said.

Last night I went out with my dear friend Danielle, oh how I missed her and her crazy-ness. We were sitting on the couch at her man-friends house (aka her boyfriend) and he brought her out a bag of cookies, she was like, "What are you trying to make me fat or something?!" Being the person I was, I consoled her and told her that he just "wanted something to hold on to." I thought it was pretty clever, and we laughed about it for a good twenty minutes.

You are probably wondering what is going on with this post, and why the title is significant. If you would just wait for a minute, I will tell you. I chose the title Pick and Choose because I have realized something about the blogging world, with the exception of my friend Megan at Remarks From Sparks, most every blogger out there is not afraid to censor, sugar coat, or mysteriously leave out facts and feelings. I have been known to do this from time to time, i.e. Frank, most of my writings, and other things.

I have found myself not blogging things, not writing down my thoughts and not expressing myself very well because of this whole, "You never know who reads." Well, does it really matter? Of course it does. It matters to me because I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, make someone think less of me, or be rude. I'm not that type of person. For however much it is worth, I am a people pleaser most of the time. I change things about myself that others don't like, and I beat myself up over things on occasion. I'm not a firecracker like some people out there. I don't like to be disliked, and I can't just say "screw you, I am who I am" because, not to build myself a pedestol (spelling, I'm not on my mac so this is filled with mistakes) and stand on it, but I am too kind-hearted. Yeah, I can have those days when the wicked witch get's the best of me and I am just not caring, but in reality... I care too much.

Now I have gone of on a tangent.

The point is, I have been censoring my blog, or just not posting at all because I know that I will hurt someone. It is bugging me so bad! I just want to write and write and write about things that bug me, or make me happy, or situations that really push my buttons, because I have PLENTY of those. Some, in fact, that would make this post very hypocritical, especially the kind-hearted part.

I'm not sure what my decision is yet, I don't know what I will do about this predicament, or if I will even face it at all. All I know is, that it is good to be home in Vegas. (off subject, I know.) I just want to write things and not make anyone cry, or come after me with a gun, or lose a friendship over it. (I have been known to do that, p.s. I am sorry --- censored!)