Handwritten Things

July 10th, 2009

A bird flies so high. It flaps it's wings and begins to soar. It seems so aimless, but like us, it has a purpose. A plan, a place to be. Somewhere that it wants to go. It probably wishes it could run. Two feet planted firmly on the ground. Feeling the constant beat hit with every footstep. I'm sure it dreams of speaking a language. Fluent and flowing like ours. Why do we always long to be something we are not? Why do we have to experience flight, like a bird? I'm not saying it's wrong, it just, it isn't very flattering to ourselves. These great bodies that take us through lifes bumps and bruises. That wait for centuries for us to return to them. We want too much for things that haven't been given to us, we forget what we have been blessed with.

July 26th, 2009

Heavenly Father loves us, and he doesn't want us to go through this life alone. That is why he gives us trails, to bring us closer to him. He is a great and merciful God, with Divine Compassion towards us, and towards our beloved brother, Jesus Christ. He walks with us each and everyday, if we are kind enough to invite him. He is the great and mighty God who shows us love and gives us the power to create. To care for others and open our hearts to his goodness and glory.

November 19th, 2008

This morning I woke up crying. My heart has never hurt this much before. I cried all morning and into the afternoon. Then I talked to ___ and began to lie to myself. I just have to stick it out and things will be okay. I will be happy. Then I stopped crying, I can't cry now and I so badly want to. I also want to scream and stomp my feet, and tell Heavenly Father that he is hurting me. He already knows that. He did this for a reason. I don't know why. It hurts, my heart is heavy for the first time, I'm not telling myself to be sad or upset, I just am. I want this to end. It is the worst feeling ever: It's not over until he says it is.

August 1st, 2009

I am so happy right now. Looking back on all the things that I have written in the past.. Especially my November entry.. I just think, wow. I have gone through a lot. A LOT. I am a better person for it, but I am still not the best that I can be. I am doing so much more, and doing so much better then I was before. Thank God above for that. It has been a long time since those things have happened, and I am glad that they did. I am also really glad they are over.