Life As I Knew It

Honestly, nothing compares to not being able to sleep. The feeling is really intense and it takes over your mind. It's not really that you aren't physically tired. No, that's not it at all. It's that your brain keeps telling your body, that it can't fall asleep. Even when you try really hard you still seem to fail miserably. This is especially true for me right now. Let me explain...

My Sickness

For some reason unknown to man, I have an illness. I really don't know what it is. My mouth is really watery, (saliva- srsly now.. it's not that gross) I can swallow my spit all I want but it wont go away long enough for me to lay down. Because once I do lay down, it clogs my throat and I can't sleep being it's like someone is pouring water into my mouth. Along with that, is the constant feeling that I need to vomit. Sound delicious huh? Next to that feeling, is the urge to have to use the restroom every 5 minutes. NO it's not a peefection like Lauren would call it. I really do have to go. -It's probably from all the spit I am swallowing. Don't swallow it? OKAY! Yeah, that doesn't work... I don't feel like sitting over the sink.- On top of all of this, my house makes weird noises, I am on the corner of an intersection, and the sprinklers are going off. - I didn't even know we had sprinklers...-

Thoughts Concerning my current life choices

Life choices, the decisions you make to make your life complete, interesting, and existent. I really have this sudden urge to just pack everything up... and move again. Why not? I have no money anyways... I will just leave and go to Greece. Become someone who mends nets, what are those people called? I could live in a little old nasty villa and smell like bug spray and B.O. It would be an adventure! Then I think, what good would that do me? I would miss my family too much, I wouldn't be getting a formal education (which I have yet to obtain) and I would smell bad. Oh what will I do? I have this huge dark cloud looming over my head. I'm supposed to pay for my first two months, and last two months rent for next semester by July 1st. It is June 26th? and I have no money. I have no job, and I really don't know what else to do. I have applied everywhere. I had an interview today, but she has to interview other people, then call back for second interviews. I HATE second interviews. Why can't people just hire you on the spot, then tell you to get to work. I would gladly do that. I have no grocery money and I am almost out of milk. Cereal is running way low, and I have one packet of kool-aid left. I don't get to go home for my birthday, and I have no idea when I will see my family again. OH JOY.

Despite all of this...

I love Logan. I love being on my own, and I love to whine. Couldn't you tell?! It is just one of my many many talents. Really, I am not trying to whine... I am just trying to lay out all my worries and frustrations so as to better plan for my near collapse of a future. (woah sorry, there I go again) Really and honestly though, I just am trying to figure things out. It helps so much to just sit and type. It's officially 5 o'clock. I have been up since 1:30. I got a grand total of a half an hour of sleep this evening. I really want to know what is wrong with me.

Love Peace & Hair Grease

Shelby Lou Whoo