Hand Written Letters
I have this idea. It includes me, stationary, and over exaggerated moments.
A long time ago I was talking with someone and the moment was sad, so sad. I was wishing it wasn't happening and I had tears gushing out of my eyes and my heart was running on empty. I was begging for the situation to be different, the outcome to be good instead of bad. I felt like a piece of me had been kidnapped, stolen, and never to be found again.
After that moment, LONG after that moment, I realized how humiliating it was. How dumb I felt for letting that person see me so weak, to see me beg for something that wasn't rightfully mine. They saw me at my weakest point and I just feel so bad for them. I feel bad that they had to sit through that and be the comforter to me when there was nothing that could comfort me.
Now. I feel like I should apologize. Even though it was so long ago. I feel like I need to make clear that, that wasn't me. I was being taken over by some kind of emotionally retarded fool. Someone who could not control themselves, or their actions. I feel like I need to go to the store and buy some really nice stationary and write out a letter to them telling them how sorry I am.
I could do this for a couple of different people. People who have seen me scared, sad, and last of all people who have seen me with all my guards down.
Then I think, Shelby. You are ridiculous.
Am I ridiculous????
This was not meant to be sad. I was just writing what I was thinking...
A long time ago I was talking with someone and the moment was sad, so sad. I was wishing it wasn't happening and I had tears gushing out of my eyes and my heart was running on empty. I was begging for the situation to be different, the outcome to be good instead of bad. I felt like a piece of me had been kidnapped, stolen, and never to be found again.
After that moment, LONG after that moment, I realized how humiliating it was. How dumb I felt for letting that person see me so weak, to see me beg for something that wasn't rightfully mine. They saw me at my weakest point and I just feel so bad for them. I feel bad that they had to sit through that and be the comforter to me when there was nothing that could comfort me.
Now. I feel like I should apologize. Even though it was so long ago. I feel like I need to make clear that, that wasn't me. I was being taken over by some kind of emotionally retarded fool. Someone who could not control themselves, or their actions. I feel like I need to go to the store and buy some really nice stationary and write out a letter to them telling them how sorry I am.
I could do this for a couple of different people. People who have seen me scared, sad, and last of all people who have seen me with all my guards down.
Then I think, Shelby. You are ridiculous.
Am I ridiculous????
This was not meant to be sad. I was just writing what I was thinking...
If you will feel better, do it.
ReplyDeletebut honestly these people probably don't think anything of it.
You are DEFINITELY not ridiculous. Trust me.
ReplyDeletenot ridiculous at all. you might be surprised by how many people cant remember those times you "let your guard down", im sure they dont mind being there to comfort you!
ReplyDeletei do feel bad for those people that have to see me in such emotional states though, maybe i should start writing "hand written letters"
you inspire me!