Stronger

So last night I was hanging out with Lori and Kayla, as always. We went to Bo's house to hang out with a ton of kids who are on winter break from BYU. Let me just say something really quick... I don't know any of the people there. Well I know them, they know me... but we never hung out before they left or anytime between. I felt like the aptiomy of stupid. I was the stupidest person there, besides maybe.... nope... it was me. They were like, oh lets play basketball. O.K. it's 30 degrees outside, and I have no hand eye coordination that sounds like a GREAT TIME. So we go outside and we get on teams and then I end up walking around aimlessly dodging the ball instead of catching it, because I AM NOT A SPORTS PERSON. Maybe if we were doing yoga or pilates... Then Justin showed up and I was like tag your in because I suck at this. Not to mention the whole time before that I was trying to talk to people, but everytime I would tell someone a story they would listen to the first half, ( sidenote: it takes me a long time to tell a story, that's just who I am...exhibit A this blog) then as I was telling it their eyes would wander, then someone else would say something to them and then they would talk to them then I would say the last line of my story to myself, because no one was listening to me. Have you ever had this happen to you...
JOE: Hey hows it going?
Me: Oh it's going great! So the other day I was walking my dog and
NANCY: HEY JOE!
JOE: Oh hey NANCY! Did I tell you about the other night??
Me: Then I put a firework in my pants and called the sherriff...
The person you were talking to walks away or turns and you are left telling what you personally thought was an exciting story.. to well, your imaginary friend Lenord. Not that Lenord isn't great, but hey human contact is nice.
So after that happened to me three or four times I decided I was just going to keep quiet and to myself. If someone wanted to talk to me they would. Which then left me tired, and it was 12 and I didn't have my own car.
OH and by the way. I have this problem called Rhynads Phenomenon where my circulation stops in my fingers and toes if I get to cold. So standing outside for about 4 hours was the greatest time of my life. Notice the heavy sarcasm. We went inside and I tried to text my friend Nate back on my phone and my fingers hurt too bad that I couldn't. It also took me 20 minutes to open my soda, because my fingers hurt really bad. Yes, I am complaining, because if I don't I will hold this grudge against myself for about 3 years, wondering what the h-e-double hockey sticks was wrong with me last night.
For your information, I haven't hung out with a group of people like that since before I started dating mitch... so lets say in HIGH SCHOOL. yeah that was a long time ago.
Then I wake up this morning, and obviously I have an attitude. OF COURSE I DO! What was I thinking? Family is always before friends, you will always have your family, your friends not so much. Well the second part of that I know is true, because from what happened last night. My family is the only people I am comfortable around lately. EXCEPT for I don't see them, because I work, and because secrets run my life. Part of me wants christmas to last forever, the other part of me wants it to be over so fast. This weekend we are going to a club. YES that's what I said, a club. It's for people 18 and up. I think it starts at one am. I don't know if my mom will be too thrilled with that, but I think maybe if I go I will break out of this shell I put around me to keep me what I thought was SAFE.
How about you tell me what you think... because I honestly believe that everyone thinks I am a weirdo, who likes dogs, and can't tell a story for a million dollars.
PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
OH and btw sorry mom. since you read my blog so often I might as well apologize here.

Let me leave you with a good thought though. If I go clubbin' I might be able to redeem myself. Since I know how to CRUMP and all that. hahaha Yeah and Christmas Eve is tomorrow! How exciting is that???