Gotta Stop. Loaf or Walk
I have go to stop reading. I am driving myself crazy reading this stinking book. My life is like revolving around it. AHHH well not intierly, but part of it. Like I want the great things to happen and I am gaurding myself from the bad things, that don't even exsist! This is how I get when I read books tho. When I read time and eternity, I really had a tough time because I knew the great things that were happening to her wouldn't happen to me anytime soon and it launched me into a mind only depression. SO SAD.
On another note I miss Mitchell terribly. I haven't seen him since Tuesday and I know that's not a long time to not have seen each other but if feels like its been forever.
I am totally swamped with school work though, so I guess its best I don't see anyone. Then I think to myself, I wont do it either way so why bother. hahaha Maybe if someone came and sat with me while I did my school work I would actually get it done and it wouldn't be so hard!
Life is crazy!!! CRAZY!! take that from me, the girl who goes mentally insane when she reads books. hahaha but no really. I got accepted a job at Deseret Book, the job I wanted, but why didn't I take it? That would mean having to quit working at the candle shop- and even tho this place is literally putting me in debt- I still want to work here, I still want to be here. So for now I am just going to continue my silent search for a night job, while hoping that when January rolls around I will find a job that will give me insurance so maybe I could take the semester off. I have a feeling the next year is going to be hardly tolerable, and I feel bad for the people who read my blog who have to deal with my crazyness. At least you are only dipping into my world, not being immersed by it.
Sometimes I sit and think how my life is going to turn out. I don't think about what you think I am thinking tho. I think if my house will be nicely furnished or if all the peices will be mismatched hand-me-downs and a complete cluttered mess. Organized clutter of course. I also think of what kind of things I will do to improve my health, if I will take my kids walking, or if I will silently gaze at them from the couch with a bowl of potatoe chips. This could happen the second choice could always happen, even though it is not my first choice it could end up like that. Even if I don't want it to. If I don't make an effort now, I will never have kids or be able to decide if I am going to loaf, or walk.
On another note I miss Mitchell terribly. I haven't seen him since Tuesday and I know that's not a long time to not have seen each other but if feels like its been forever.
I am totally swamped with school work though, so I guess its best I don't see anyone. Then I think to myself, I wont do it either way so why bother. hahaha Maybe if someone came and sat with me while I did my school work I would actually get it done and it wouldn't be so hard!
Life is crazy!!! CRAZY!! take that from me, the girl who goes mentally insane when she reads books. hahaha but no really. I got accepted a job at Deseret Book, the job I wanted, but why didn't I take it? That would mean having to quit working at the candle shop- and even tho this place is literally putting me in debt- I still want to work here, I still want to be here. So for now I am just going to continue my silent search for a night job, while hoping that when January rolls around I will find a job that will give me insurance so maybe I could take the semester off. I have a feeling the next year is going to be hardly tolerable, and I feel bad for the people who read my blog who have to deal with my crazyness. At least you are only dipping into my world, not being immersed by it.
Sometimes I sit and think how my life is going to turn out. I don't think about what you think I am thinking tho. I think if my house will be nicely furnished or if all the peices will be mismatched hand-me-downs and a complete cluttered mess. Organized clutter of course. I also think of what kind of things I will do to improve my health, if I will take my kids walking, or if I will silently gaze at them from the couch with a bowl of potatoe chips. This could happen the second choice could always happen, even though it is not my first choice it could end up like that. Even if I don't want it to. If I don't make an effort now, I will never have kids or be able to decide if I am going to loaf, or walk.
Yo kid do something for me.. You have to promise you will try your hardest to do it. You ready? Try and chill out for me ok? You are an amazing kid I have never met someone so full of energy and nice to everyone she meets as you are. Things are going to work out for you! It may take you a while to get there but everything works out in the end. Just keep your head up and stop worrying so much, go with the flow. You rock and don't ever forget who loves you. You are an example to me in so many ways and I hate to see you beat yourself up the way you do. Your great and don't let anyone tell you different.
ReplyDeleteShe has a nother book. It's on sale at walmart...its call "the host" i think im gonna buy it lol we'll see if its as good as the twilight series!!
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