Oh Sunshine!

As you could have guessed that is my backyard, and that is a well-read copy of Charoltte Bronte's Jane Eyre. I search for her qualities in myself. Her unfleeting devotion to God and all things moral. Her ability to keep hidden inside her, emotions that should not be seen. Her character is intense yet somewhat refined, she is everything I wish I could be. Really.

Today was a blessed day. Have you ever talked to someone who is a baptist? It seems like people from that religion have a good idea of what blessings are. They always impart blessings upon the unkowning and they are always saying "God Bless" or "Have a Blessed Day". I used to think it was a little over the top and just kind of weird to say to someone, but most of them truly mean it. They really do want you to have a good day. Today, was a good day. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my ever-so burdened shoulders. Remember this post? Where I contemplated the action of writing hand-written letters, to mainly apologize for my overreactions? Today I completed this task. Yet, as I wrote those letters -that I had been making rough drafts of for weeks- they came out completely different. I was thankful.

I was thankful to those people who sat through my overreactions and loved me consistently. I wrote letters of thanks, of gratitude. Letters that showed how much that person truly meant to me, to my sanity. Those people, only two, whom I wrote letters for. Truly inspired me, and helped me to create the person I am now, and look forward to the improvements I will soon enough make and keep constant. They were my ray of sunshine in a dark storm. I was so thankful for their presence in my life, even if now... it is smaller then I would have hoped. I still have a ton of letters to write as I leave my home of 18 years and travel out in the big and scary world. Who even came up with that phrase?

Today I sat on a blanket in the grass and poured out my heart. I didn't just do this by putting pen to paper. I did it by letting the universe know I was ready. I am ready. Ready to make more of myself and open my heart to all this life has to offer. I poured my heart out to God, to his ever constant compainion who sat beside me. The Holy Spirit kept me cool in the warmth of the sun. He fed me light as I traveled out of my own personal darkness. He never left me. Not for one minute did he take his eyes from me. Today was a blessed day. I reflected a lot on what meant a lot to me. I can honestly say I didn't out right think of the savior or his sacrafice, or my duty to him. I just thought of love. I thought of love in people, in situations and I was reminded of the love that is given to me. I didn't sit and read my scriptures, even though they were right next to me. I just sat and thought of "past infractions" and I was blessed with a heavenly feeling.

I hope you might understand what I am trying to convey to you. That you might take some time out of your day to think about people that mean something to you. Or even just situations where you have felt loved. I promise you will feel the saviors love, you will come to more fully understand his plan, and you will be able to feel the sun when the storm beats down. God Bless You. SERIOUSLY