Dear Prospective Boyfriend III

Dear P.B.,

I haven’t taken the time to write you lately, and for that I apologize. I have some more to tell you about myself, things you might want to look out for. I’m a girl. I hope you are okay with that. I also hope you are okay with the fact that I am a little tinsy bit of a worry wart. I try real hard not to be but often times, it gets the best of me. I worry about the little things, like the zit on my face and I worry about the big things, like keeping my job (or finding one) and what my family thinks of me. Just listen to me when I want to talk, and walk silently with me when I don’t want to. Hugs are like a drug when someone is sad, so please give me a big heaping dose.

When I cry, which I do, because like I said, I’m a girl. Take me close to your chest and let me cry, let me scream and yell and be frustrated. It only lasts for a moment before I decide I’m acting like a child and I move on. Life is hard, and I’m not one to just take a bullet and barely even wince. It hurts, it sucks, and I will cuss like a sailor. I will be thoroughly ashamed of myself afterwards and apologize a million times, just roll with it.

When I say the word hate, stop me. Don’t let me hate people or things or any of that. Keep me in check, I might be wounded by your advice, but your advice is what matters most. I cherish your thoughts, and love your suggestions. I might not always follow them, or understand them, but I will always consider them.

Sometimes I am really quiet and reserved, it’s probably because something or someone is bugging me. I firmly believe if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Most often though, it is just me observing and trying to figure out who people are and why they are who they are. I’m not being anti-social, I’m learning a lot. A LOT.

One day when we meet, I hope you realize that I’m trying really hard to be a good person. I am trying so, so hard to be better then I am. With you, I will become even better then I am now, and if things don’t work out between us for some reason... I want you to believe me when I say Thank You. Thank You for being you, and for trying to be you, with me. It means the world to me, really. If things do end up working out, and you end up loving me. IT’S A MIRACLE! Is all I have to say...

Yours indefinitely,

Shelby Lou